.
I have occasionally, and I think it is pretty normal for a fair number of people. I have never been able to justify actually trying though.
I have thought about it plenty of times but ultimately it would never be a good decision. There's still things in life I wouldn't want to potentially miss, suicide could detrimentally affect my afterlife options, and finally it's just selfish.
But yeah, for some reason when I'm really upset I always mutter that I'm going to kill myself
No, not at all. confuseddood;
I've never been at the point of having a plan and a reason, but I have definitely spent periods of my life wanting to die... the year I spent on all the (hard) drugs was hardly more than a weak effort to harm and kill myself. I didn't care if I lived or died, just wanted to give myself completely up to the chance that a bad batch or misplaced shot would do me in. Fortunately, none ever did, and I doubt I'll ever think like that again.
i don't think in the future i would kill myself, but sometiems i don't want to be around
I have however wished I weren't born but I guess I'm here so...
I'm constantly thinking about suicide. These thoughts mostly occur when I'm by myself, so I try to be around people.
It's been a tough year for me, and I know life only gets harder. So, when I think of these things I just don't really want to keep going. So, yeah.
Quote from: N o t S i d on November 22, 2011, 12:14:11 AM
I'm constantly thinking about suicide.
I've had a therapist from Freshman year of highschool to freshman year of college
no giggle;
No. There was one point in my life when I was doing pretty shitty, and at this time I sort of thought about suicide, partly because I was just really angsty and also partly because one of my best friends at the time was suicidal. It was pretty shitty always having to wonder if I'd even ever talk to him again. But this also helped me realize that suicide was retarded. I was 16 at the time.
Quote from: N o t S i d on November 22, 2011, 12:14:11 AM
I'm constantly thinking about suicide. These thoughts mostly occur when I'm by myself, so I try to be around people.
It's been a tough year for me, and I know life only gets harder. So, when I think of these things I just don't really want to keep going. So, yeah.
Life doesn't get harder, that's one of those things they tell you y/n
Nope, not even a shred of a fiber of a thought in that direction.
There's still mountains and woods out there and other countries to explore and people to meet and shit to do.
Quote from: Boognish-Redux- on November 22, 2011, 05:30:02 PM
Nope, not even a shred of a fiber of a thought in that direction.
There's still mountains and woods out there and other countries to explore and people to meet and shit to do.
Basically my thoughts... if I ever really wanted to off myself, I'd just divorce from reality and live in a Bavarian forest writing cryptic poetry or something.
befuddlement
/me slowly and deliberately loads himself into the PT-44S Plasma Table
Quote from: vziard on November 22, 2011, 06:12:12 PM
/me slowly and deliberately loads himself into the PT-44S Plasma Table
it would cause a nozzle collision and all i would get is a concussion at best ;-; (mostly just a head ache)
There was an attempted suicide at my school yesterday, and two committed over the summer. It's been part of my psyche since puberty, I'm coming to accept that my brain is trying to kill me sometimes.
I've thought about it yes, of course. Seriously? I don't think so. The times I've thought of it have had more to do with curiosity as to how it would feel and what I would think while plummeting several hundred feet, knowing that it was all over than it ever had to do with hating life and wanting it to over. There have certainly been periods that I've been very dissatisfied with my life and didn't give much of a shit what happened and definitely wasn't enjoying everything, but they've been pretty rare. I don't think I've ever been miserable and hating my life-- certainly not for a long period of time, maybe for a couple days at most.
I don't know if I could ever do it. If I did it would be by jumping. For sure. Because I think that experience would be wonderful, but it's the only way to get it.
Quote from: vziard on November 21, 2011, 04:05:34 PM
the year I spent on all the (hard) drugs
You were such a dick.
Quote from: vziard on November 22, 2011, 05:44:12 PM
Basically my thoughts... if I ever really wanted to off myself, I'd just divorce from reality and live in a Bavarian forest writing cryptic poetry or something.
I would need a large supply of mephedrone with me.
Never seriously, but I've definitely thought about it. I enjoy life for the most part, and there are still many things left to experience and enjoy.
In the past, yes.
In the last 2 years, no.
In the past, not too many times. I used to look down upon people who wanted to kill themselves.
Recently? I'd probably be dead right now if there was a gun in this house.
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on November 28, 2011, 08:36:29 PM
In the past, not too many times. I used to look down upon people who wanted to kill themselves.
Recently? I'd probably be dead right now if there was a gun in this house.
I understand that you've gotten out of a relationship recently. Have you talked to someone you trust in real life about it?
I haven't, I have been, plenty of times, depressed and otherwise in a significant psychological mess mostly thanks to my identity issues, but I guess I'm just not the type to easily go for a death wish from this. n_n
Quote from: bluaki on November 29, 2011, 01:28:38 AM
I haven't, I have been, plenty of times, depressed and otherwise in a significant psychological mess mostly thanks to my identity issues, but I guess I'm just not the type to easily go for a death wish from this. n_n
When I saw that you had posted in this thread I was like "oh god" but this post made me happy. giggle; Good for you for dealing with all the shitty people in the world a lot better than most people could.
Quote from: applesauce on November 29, 2011, 03:19:41 AM
Good for you for dealing with all the shitty people in the world a lot better than most people could.
Actually, it's arguably worse in that I simply don't deal with others like at all saddood;
Quote from: bluaki on November 29, 2011, 03:32:41 AM
Actually, it's arguably worse in that I simply don't deal with others like at all saddood;
Becoming bad at socializing and a relative recluse is so much better than being horribly depressed and having violent mood swings and hating everyone and thinking bad things about yourself and hurting yourself and others and really any of the myriad of things that happen to people.
I mean you seem like you're pretty happy with your life and you're definitely moving forward and not letting shit fuck with you. That's better than most people could do, myself probably included.
Quote from: Chompskyan Grammar on November 29, 2011, 12:40:21 AM
I understand that you've gotten out of a relationship recently. Have you talked to someone you trust in real life about it?
I've talked to my parents about it a little bit, much to their dismay. I did tell my psychiatrist, but I'm afraid to tell him too much lest he have me locked up in the psyche ward.
Quote from: applesauce on November 29, 2011, 03:39:06 AM
That's better than most people could do, myself probably included.
Yeah but what good is your life really, if everyone who looks at it just shakes their head and walk away? Life isn't about just living to your own tune, as much as I have come to painfully realize this, it is about joining the harmony and inspiring others to your song. This takes everything you have, from your mind to your soul, and it must be shared with the world, in some fashion or form, for you to thrive and truly realize your full potential. Disclaimer though, it is not easy, actually, hard as fuck. For everybody.
I have thought about suicide. But I have never had the guts. I was afraid of dying, and liked knowing and breathing way to much to give it up. However, in the end, I could never be such a coward and leave all of those whom I have come to know in such abrupt terms. It is a very selfish move. For they have to pick up the pieces and go on.
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 12:22:43 PM
Yeah but what good is your life really, if everyone who looks at it just shakes their head and walk away? Life isn't about just living to your own tune, as much as I have come to painfully realize this, it is about joining the harmony and inspiring others to your song. This takes everything you have, from your mind to your soul, and it must be shared with the world, in some fashion or form, for you to thrive and truly realize your full potential. Disclaimer though, it is not easy, actually, hard as fuck. For everybody.
I disagree. I feel like you can have just as enjoyable of a life without socializing, you just need to be able to accept yourself. I've actually been spending a lot more time alone lately, not because I don't like my friends, it's just that I would rather invest my time in bettering myself than bettering arbitrary relationships.
Quote from: MF Doom on November 29, 2011, 05:32:31 PM
I disagree. I feel like you can have just as enjoyable of a life without socializing, you just need to be able to accept yourself. I've actually been spending a lot more time alone lately, not because I don't like my friends, it's just that I would rather invest my time in bettering myself than bettering arbitrary relationships.
You misunderstood I never implied socialization was the impetus for development. Essentially, the focal point of all your efforts in 'bettering yourself'--whether alone or not--is to better humanity. Otherwise your jolly life is insignificant no matter how fucking happy you think you are.
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 05:36:45 PM
You misunderstood I never implied socialization was the impetus for development. Essentially, the focal point of all your efforts in 'bettering yourself'--whether alone or not--is to better humanity. Otherwise your jolly life is insignificant no matter how fucking happy you think you are.
But isn't that the case in 999 of 1000 cases? And how do we measure significance?
I think the best thing we can do is accept insignificance and just kind of go from there.
The greatest thing I can wake up to in the morning is the realization that I'm a just a speck. Doesn't that make everything else out there feel so much more attainable?
You can also kind of sidle away the majority of the bullshit too with relative ease.
I know I am insignificant but I still know I am insignificant. My life already means something to me, but I want it to mean something to you, too. Is this selfish?
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 06:15:57 PM
I know I am insignificant but I still know I am insignificant. My life already means something to me, but I want it to mean something to you, too. Is this selfish?
I think it's a little selfish that you want your
life to mean something to someone else, not just your ideas without your name attached to them (but maybe that's not what you meant). From my perspective, I am everything that exists because I am inside myself, so ultimately I don't actually
care about humanity's furthering, I just care about figuring things out for my own understanding--which, hopefully, will end up benefiting humanity anyway, but it's a secondary concern. Is
that selfish?
I did not mean my life in detail but my life in implication, as expressed, presumably and hopefully, through the breath of others in their own time and place. I do care about the world, even if I were to consider myself perfect and perfectly at peace. I refuse to believe that you can live a meaningful life without sharing something. I am most happy and feel fulfilled when I can show to another a small piece of the truth that I have discovered. That, in my opinion, is more important than the discovery itself!
I think I need more snuff for this conversation though.
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 06:40:47 PM
I did not mean my life in detail but my life in implication, as expressed, presumably and hopefully, through the breath of others in their own time and place. I do care about the world, even if I were to consider myself perfect and perfectly at peace. I refuse to believe that you can live a meaningful life without sharing something. I am most happy and feel fulfilled when I can show to another a small piece of the truth that I have discovered. That, in my opinion, is more important than the discovery itself!
I think I need more snuff for this conversation though.
I think we agree, then. happydood;
Quote from: bluaki on November 29, 2011, 03:32:41 AM
Actually, it's arguably worse in that I simply don't deal with others like at all saddood;
do you secretly want to be little miss social butterfly, or just naturally like being quiet
the former's such a bitch to get through giggle;
Quote from: Clucky on November 29, 2011, 08:17:45 PM
do you secretly want to be little miss social butterfly, or just naturally like being quiet
the former's such a bitch to get through giggle;
I don't want to be immensely social, but I at least want a few friends
I'm naturally quiet and I blame my psychological issues for elevating that to the point of being able to trust or otherwise effectively communicate with others giggle;
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 05:36:45 PM
You misunderstood I never implied socialization was the impetus for development. Essentially, the focal point of all your efforts in 'bettering yourself'--whether alone or not--is to better humanity. Otherwise your jolly life is insignificant no matter how fucking happy you think you are.
What? I mean, you're welcome to feel that way about your life (and anyone else's really) but if I decide that seeing beautiful things and experiencing as many of the world's honest, raw, life as possible is what gives my life meaning and lets me feel accomplishment and closure in life-- who are you to say otherwise? Do I need to sit around bars or schools or somewhere and share my experiences? Do I need to write a book? Why can't it be enough for me to just see it all and feel it all and think it all?
But I suppose you are talking of significance, and I don't truly know what significance is.
Quote from: bluaki on November 29, 2011, 09:06:29 PM
I don't want to be immensely social, but I at least want a few friends
I'm naturally quiet and I blame my psychological issues for elevating that to the point of being able to trust or otherwise effectively communicate with others giggle;
what are you doing to help overcome mistrust!!!
it's better to overcome these things when you're young, because your values and perception become more crystallized once you age
Quote from: applesauce on November 30, 2011, 04:21:02 AM
What? I mean, you're welcome to feel that way about your life (and anyone else's really) but if I decide that seeing beautiful things and experiencing as many of the world's honest, raw, life as possible is what gives my life meaning and lets me feel accomplishment and closure in life-- who are you to say otherwise? Do I need to sit around bars or schools or somewhere and share my experiences? Do I need to write a book? Why can't it be enough for me to just see it all and feel it all and think it all?
But I suppose you are talking of significance, and I don't truly know what significance is.
I'm not saying it's not enough or that it is a bad thing or that you can't enjoy your life. No. I just think, personally, that it is not the highest level of achievement. I am sure there have been plenty of people who lived and died that way--happy. But who are they? And that's the question that bothers me. Neither extreme is 'right', in my opinion, whether that means living inside of yourself or living vicariously, there has to be a balance.
I have a read a lot of visionaries declare that all youthful thought, while fruitful, is not a fully mature view. I can understand that completely now, as even a year ago I was so enamored by the philosophy that it was easy to modify the everyday realities.
I have changed so much in the last year.
Hell, in the last 3 months.
Quote from: bluaki on November 29, 2011, 09:06:29 PM
I don't want to be immensely social, but I at least want a few friends
I'm naturally quiet and I blame my psychological issues for elevating that to the point of being able to trust or otherwise effectively communicate with others giggle;
I feel like you and I could relate on a lot of things.
Yeah, for multiple reasons and most are ridiculous.
Quote from: Socks on November 30, 2011, 08:08:45 AM
I have a read a lot of visionaries declare that all youthful thought, while fruitful, is not a fully mature view. I can understand that completely now, as even a year ago I was so enamored by the philosophy that it was easy to modify the everyday realities.
But what is a fully mature view?
Quote from: Hippopo on December 03, 2011, 09:40:09 PM
But what is a fully mature view?
I am not entirely sure, but I feel progress has been made. The way I approach the world is a little bit more subdued and a little bit more resolved than what it used to be.
Absolutely not. Even if I go through the shittest day ever, I couldn't enduce physical pain to myself and end my life. There are times though I wish I was never born or I wish I was at least born under different circumstances (such as surroundings, status, etc.) but hey, I think at one point or another we've all had a thought like that.
Quote from: Socks on November 29, 2011, 05:36:45 PM
You misunderstood I never implied socialization was the impetus for development. Essentially, the focal point of all your efforts in 'bettering yourself'--whether alone or not--is to better humanity. Otherwise your jolly life is insignificant no matter how fucking happy you think you are.
Who cares if your life is insignificant? To you, it's all that matters. If you enjoy your life, I would argue that you've lived a meaningful life, regardless of it's content.
Quote from: MF Doom on December 16, 2011, 11:30:19 AM
Who cares if your life is insignificant? To you, it's all that matters. If you enjoy your life, I would argue that you've lived a meaningful life, regardless of it's content.
I don't think so. You can enjoy your life and have it be a complete waste and tragedy. Self satisfaction is not necessarily a measure of meaning. Some people are deluded. It is clear they follow morals and beliefs which are false in root and thus their life, regardless of it's content, is not meaningful at all, beyond the dimensions of a demented soul. I don't know if it is difficult to imagine what I meant when I say something is true, but in my head there is an instant vision of what I mean, and my heart knows that it is true. Surely you must conduct all of your affairs and business this way? I am always trying to figure out if something is true or not, before I really have done anything, and often there are other things which come along immediately. It is very easy to become distracted and lost, unless you know what you are looking for.
Atheism is an excellent deterrent to suicide.
Quote from: Nyerp on December 19, 2011, 02:17:45 PM
what
I don't know that I agree with him, but I can see how he could make that argument.
It gives more meaning to your one life to live and all that. You don't believe in an after life so when you die, you're gone and there is nothing more.
Quote from: Nyerp on December 19, 2011, 02:17:45 PM
what
Not believing in any sort of afterlife can cause a person to value their life more.
However, atheism doesn't necessarily mean a person can't believe in an afterlife, because they technically could.
Even if a current view isn't mature, I think the directionality of the view is an important metric. I know I'm ok, but I'm making strides to grow in a direction that I can be proud of. That way I can be constantly adapting to the ever changing reality.
Last year around April I was so happy that winter was over because winter made me feel sad (not winter, but my own self in winter making me feel sad) so I thought this winter I wouldn't do this same dumb thing but now I see a lot gets me down sometimes but it's all stupid game game game stuff
so I do my best to think about my problems and leaves and stuff floating down a river but I still have this temper and it's dumb so I try to do calming things and then I am more ok with being around, lately is how it goes
So i said something fucked up the other night;
I was hanging out with my friends and someone decided to youtube "the bridge", a documentary of people jumping off the golden gate bridge, and there was this old geezer jumping, and I was like "that's the age that I'll commit suicide" and everyone was quiet. I meant it as a joke but I feel very awkward about how my friends must have perceived it, cuz you just don't say things like that out loud.
i say things like that irl to my friends and family and they all find it Funny. Friends must be broken lol
Quote from: Complicated Bridge on December 24, 2011, 07:34:39 AM
i say things like that irl to my friends and family and they all find it Funny. Friends must be broken lol
oh okay, thats what went wrong. happydood;
Work was hell yesterday. I was looking out the French doors, padlocked shut, and saw a brief shadow turn to sunlight, as the wind flew by, and I told my friend, today is excellent weather for an outdoor hanging. He looked at me a little strange, but nothing more.
Quote from: sans culottes on December 19, 2011, 01:31:52 PM
Atheism is an excellent deterrent to suicide.
In Christianity you automatically go to hell if you commit suicide so there's a deterrent girl;
Quote from: NPR on January 10, 2012, 05:01:24 PM
In Christianity you automatically go to hell if you commit suicide so there's a deterrent girl;
Only Catholics Believe This.
Quote from: kvltorion on January 10, 2012, 05:22:46 PM
Only Catholics Believe This.
Oh.
Well then half of the Christians believe this girl;
Although... 'in the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church, Number 2283 states, "We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives."'
I prefer it the first way
I've tried...this summer actually...I slit my wrists...
Only thing it accomplished was having all of my so called friends pissed at me, and I had to wash my own sheets.
Quote from: NPR on January 10, 2012, 05:55:31 PM
Oh.
Well then half of the Christians believe this girl;
Although... 'in the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church, Number 2283 states, "We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives."'
I prefer it the first way
lol the baptists normally say the Committer of Suicide was probably not even saved in the first place goowan
Quote from: kougraducky on January 11, 2012, 11:55:23 AM
I've tried...this summer actually...I slit my wrists...
Only thing it accomplished was having all of my so called friends pissed at me, and I had to wash my own sheets.
That's terrible. I knew a girl who had done that once, she was very beautiful and it was so sad to see hear wearing long sleeve shirts all of the time and covering up her wrists to hide the scars. I couldn't understand, not the feeling, but the method. I can't even pluck a hair strand without flinching, let alone start carving out my flesh. *shudders*
No. Even at its worst, life has always offered a disconnect point. I anchor my happiness on a few unchanging variables and the rest is just bonus.