omg man ok so i feel like I've been less on edge since my surgery
smoke is still clearing out so I don't know how long it'll be until I start feeling my new baseline, but this pain is getting old
4 days in recovery so far

though ngl, before I couldn't fathom going anywhere for the sake of fun- just all been errand, appointment, medical, and grocery focused. It was only within the last 30 days I've been feeling more myself. Now I literally wouldn't mind going anywhere and it's just been 4 days since my operation. Something switched off.

also, I can pinpoint what I was actually feeling now:
https://now.aapmr.org/differential-diagnosis-and-treatment-of-visceral-pain-in-the-pelvis-and-abdomen/

Because my gallbladder wasn't functioning right, I started having visceral pain, which included a lot of nausea at its worse, and can even present emotional responses such as anxiety and impending doom. Visceral pain can be caused when an organ is damaged. I'd be feeling like I'd be on the edge of a cliff no matter how casual a situation was. It was wild. I honestly was near suicidal because facing life on edge was just not fathomable.

Thankfully, I don't have any extreme side effects from chucking it out so far.

Quote from: Mando Pandango on March 14, 2024, 11:56:00 PMuh let's see the last 6ish weeks have been the following:

realized the girl i was seeing/have been friends with is a narcissist and blocked her (she has not taken this well)

uncle rushed to the OR. his brain was bleeding. he's still recovering but it's looking good, last i heard

car failed inspection - needs a catalytic converter (i can afford this but jesus christ and also i have to find the part first)

someone i've been playing music with + enjoying getting to know was outed as a sexual predator

i keep backing myself into corners at work where i let shit pile up and lie to my boss about it (hilarous) and then force myself to do it all at the last possible minute to avoid getting chewed out (my boss is a sweetheart - southern - but still. can't not do my job) - THIS IS VERY STRESSFUL. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND IT

above all this the lease for the house i'm at is coming up soon and my housemates need an answer ASAP about if i'm staying or not and i don't really want to but it's not like i've been looking at places because i'm a little MENTALLY PREOCCUPIED


but good news:

assuming i keep my job i'll be receiving a contractually obligated raise which starts paying out in about a month

i'm starting back therapy in the morning

jesus howd i miss this, rly hope things have been looking up since then. to face all of these in succession is ridic
is therapy going okie??

lies of p is really good

damn good luck MIB
and to Popsi as well

good luck

having surgery tomorrow morning to get my gallbladder removed
not even worried about the surgery itself, just the long term complications

doc said post-surgery there's:
50% chance of negative symptoms disappearing and i live life gr8
30% chance of having manageable symptoms long term
20% chance of having the same symptoms, potentially worse

so hope I'm in that 50% bracket

It's Friday night, my dudes

uh let's see the last 6ish weeks have been the following:

realized the girl i was seeing/have been friends with is a narcissist and blocked her (she has not taken this well)

uncle rushed to the OR. his brain was bleeding. he's still recovering but it's looking good, last i heard

car failed inspection - needs a catalytic converter (i can afford this but jesus christ and also i have to find the part first)

someone i've been playing music with + enjoying getting to know was outed as a sexual predator

i keep backing myself into corners at work where i let shit pile up and lie to my boss about it (hilarous) and then force myself to do it all at the last possible minute to avoid getting chewed out (my boss is a sweetheart - southern - but still. can't not do my job) - THIS IS VERY STRESSFUL. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND IT

above all this the lease for the house i'm at is coming up soon and my housemates need an answer ASAP about if i'm staying or not and i don't really want to but it's not like i've been looking at places because i'm a little MENTALLY PREOCCUPIED


but good news:

assuming i keep my job i'll be receiving a contractually obligated raise which starts paying out in about a month

i'm starting back therapy in the morning

quote button seems to never work for me anymore

anyway my march vibes are good, doing a lot and having a lot of fun this month

It's March Madness

current vibes: