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I keep farting in the library

Started by Mando Pandango, November 08, 2018, 02:05:39 PM

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Mando Pandango

I'm trying to be covert but they keep making sound :(
Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

YPrrrr


Mando Pandango

Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

Mando Pandango

Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

David

That's when you just cough loudly a bunch

Mando Pandango

Quote from: David on November 08, 2018, 03:38:10 PMThat's when you just cough loudly a bunch
Jesus Christ look at this amateur. If you cough, you draw attention to yourself. If suddenly people are looking at you AND manage to hear your farts, game over. The only right move is to act like you're not farting at all. Maybe a second or two after give the most subtle look around your immediate area, but that's it.

Do you even fart in public? Frankly I'm embarrassed for you.
Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

YPrrrr

Damn we've got a professional crop duster over here

ClassicTyler

Pfffffffffffft.


He's nothing compared to me.

Mando Pandango

Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

antmaster5000


antmaster5000

this reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now

ClassicTyler

Quote from: antmaster5000 on November 09, 2018, 09:09:20 AMspread ur cheeks a part you noob
Great advice.


Quote from: antmaster5000 on November 09, 2018, 09:11:28 AMthis reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now
ALSO GREAT ADVICE HOLY SHIT

antmaster5000

Quote from: ClassicTyler on November 09, 2018, 09:13:51 AM
Quote from: antmaster5000 on November 09, 2018, 09:09:20 AMspread ur cheeks a part you noob
Great advice.


Quote from: antmaster5000 on November 09, 2018, 09:11:28 AMthis reminds me- when i was touring my friend ben, i asked to borrow some toilet paper from him and said i just needed a few squares. he was perplexed because he said he usually uses a couple dozen squares. apparently he doesnt spread his cheeks when he shits so he would get shit all over his cheeks, while i just had to dab it off of my butthole basically. the next time he took a shit he took my advice and was impressed with how little toilet paper he needed

it's been a couple months since then and i occasionally wonder if ben is spreading his cheeks or not when he shits now
ALSO GREAT ADVICE HOLY SHIT
yeah the situation made me genuinely curious how many people are just getting shit all over their ass and wasting time and toilet paper as a result
since you don't learn about techniques like this during potty training (although you should) and you kind of have to figure it out yourself

ClassicTyler

On a related note I ordered a bidet for that very reason so I won't need the advice for home poops.

Work poops, however, this is a game changer.

antmaster5000

Quote from: ClassicTyler on November 09, 2018, 09:17:51 AMOn a related note I ordered a bidet for that very reason so I won't need the advice for home poops.

Work poops, however, this is a game changer.
what bidet did you order? i dont know why i don't have one lol

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