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Started by C.Mongler, August 07, 2018, 04:52:37 PM

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Nyerp

Quote from: David on March 14, 2019, 11:26:05 AM
Quote from: Nyerp on March 14, 2019, 02:51:25 AMreading a bunch of my own posts and wow i'm a really negative and unlikable person. anyway time for bed


I don't think you're unlikable :(
th-thanks >_<'

ClassicTyler

We're all unlikable in our own way dear.

YPrrrr


Mando Pandango

That's a lot to handle man, and I can't imagine what your wife is going through. Genuinely. I can relate a little in seeing loved ones suffer for a long time before inevitably dying, though not of it sounds as bad as what you're going through, I know how hard it can be to see something like that. For me when my grandpa (dad's dad) was dying, it wasn't even because of how it affected me, but how it affected my dad and his mom. His mind went way before his body did. It was hard to watch.

It was the worst right at the very end, and dealing with the death just as it happened. The grief was intense. But even as you grieve, you come to realize that the absence of this person is easier to deal with than watching them suffer. It's a different kind of sadness, but one that was easier to handle for me, personally. And it took a while after his death for that to set in, but it did.

Anyway, the thing right now is to not try to find a way to make anything better. You just need to find ways to deal with what's happening as it's happening. It's going to be awful, but it doesn't have to tear you apart. So many people have gone through what you're going through, and they all managed to get through it. You can too. I believe in you, man. Be there for your wife, we'll be here for you.
Quote from: Magyarorszag on August 22, 2018, 10:27:46 PMjesus absolute shitdicking christ, nu-boyah

ClassicTyler


antmaster5000

Quote from: C.Mongler on March 14, 2019, 08:50:19 AMnaw, not at all. i havent really updated in a while, mostly cuz it makes me sad to talk about and i also have been busy as a dog in heat, but yeah. long story short, she had a proceedure done in oct that in nov they thought showed great signs of success. there wasn't really anything else they could do at the time, so we were told to chill until jan when they would do another scan and see how the treatment progressed.

well in jan we did the scan and we got some shitty fucking news. the treatment didn't progress, the cancer did. her tumor continued to grow and had become metastatic, spreading to her stomach, ovaries, and lungs. we were fucking floored because she seemed to have been doing so well prior to that. she was given 4 to 6 months to live in january.

in that time i had gotten engaged, and we were tentatively planning our wedding for december. this is why we did a rush turnaround and planned a small wedding in 6 weeks that happened at the beginning of this month. i had to have her be there, i didn't really give a shit if it wasn't a dream wedding or whatever, though it turned out great anyway too. i'm happy as fuck she made it for that, because i hope once this is all settled that will be one of our fondest (final) memories of her. here's a nice pic of us all



anyway, i think the wedding was giving her a lot of life and energy, because while she seemed in full spirits at the wedding, her health has been rapidly deteriorating. she barely has the energy to be out of bed for more than 2-3 hours a day now. she's coughing a fuck ton. she's retaining a ton of liquid (we had to get it drained last week) so she's super bloated, and it's a likely sign her liver is starting to fail. she can barely eat, which probably isn't helping her energy levels. she's constantly uncomfortable, again, because it looks like her abdomen is more tumor than organs at this point. she's quickly losing mobility, and i'm not sure she's even going to be able to shit or shower on her own come next week.

i really don't know how much time we have left. i think my gf is trying to be optimistic about it so i havent said or talked about this with anyone really, but i think we only have weeks left at this point, if that. i think it would be a god damn miracle if she made it to the end of april at the rate things seem to be going. which sucks, because she's been like a second mother to me these past few years. and she's my wife's ONLY blood family, and on top of her severe depression, i'm also fucking terrified of what it's going to do to her when her mom does pass. idk.

the hardest thing right now is just watching her suffer. it's getting to the point where she's basically not even "living", she's just kind of getting by until her body shits the bed. ive never really had to deal with it before, but now that i'm here i think its kind of bullshit that our society dictates that there is some sanctity and having her just suffer until her body can't take it anymore. i think it'd be a shitload more dignified to be able to say our goodbyes, cry and embrace, and hold her hand as a doctor artificially pulls the plug. idk maybe this is out of left field but my mental crisis last night just revolved around how much we're going to have to watch her endure this suffering, which just breaks my heart.

anyway i said this would be short, but yeah get yourselves checked for whatever cancer screenings are available yall i wouldnt wish this shit on anyone
Wow dude I'm so sorry to hear that. This definitely made me tear up. I saw that pic on FB and thought to myself how good the three of you looked, and how healthy your mother and law looked, since I'd known she was having health problems. Really cool that she was able to be there for the wedding.

Hope you and the wife are doing well all things considered. Not the best thing to start a marriage on, but it sounds like you guys are really there for each other and its probably (?) helping the foundation of your relationship.

Id never really thought about the slow process of dying until I watched my grandma go through it a few months ago. Totally know what you mean about just pulling a plug. That's what I'd want for myself, at least (along side a fuck ton of morphine)


antmaster5000

Quote from: Mando Pandango on March 14, 2019, 02:09:01 PMThat's a lot to handle man, and I can't imagine what your wife is going through. Genuinely. I can relate a little in seeing loved ones suffer for a long time before inevitably dying, though not of it sounds as bad as what you're going through, I know how hard it can be to see something like that. For me when my grandpa (dad's dad) was dying, it wasn't even because of how it affected me, but how it affected my dad and his mom. His mind went way before his body did. It was hard to watch.

It was the worst right at the very end, and dealing with the death just as it happened. The grief was intense. But even as you grieve, you come to realize that the absence of this person is easier to deal with than watching them suffer. It's a different kind of sadness, but one that was easier to handle for me, personally. And it took a while after his death for that to set in, but it did.

Anyway, the thing right now is to not try to find a way to make anything better. You just need to find ways to deal with what's happening as it's happening. It's going to be awful, but it doesn't have to tear you apart. So many people have gone through what you're going through, and they all managed to get through it. You can too. I believe in you, man. Be there for your wife, we'll be here for you.
Good post. Really agree with the 2nd paragraph.

Snowy

Quote from: Samus Aran on November 05, 2009, 12:50:30 PMlast night i bludgeoned a bull moose to death with my cock

David

Quote from: Nyerp on March 14, 2019, 11:31:52 AM
Quote from: David on March 14, 2019, 11:26:05 AM
Quote from: Nyerp on March 14, 2019, 02:51:25 AMreading a bunch of my own posts and wow i'm a really negative and unlikable person. anyway time for bed


I don't think you're unlikable :(
th-thanks >_<'

 lubdoods;

C.Mongler

thanks for the condolences my boyos. my wife and i talked a bit more on plain terms about whats happening right now last night and i think it was a good talk for both of us. of course she is obviously a wreck, but i think she also has come to agree that when this is all over, despite her being gone it will be "better" in a sense because there will be no more suffering. not only for her mom, but for us as well. it will be hard to swallow when it comes, but in time we'll heal and move on with our lives together.

and thank you for your post popsi, it was very comforting.

C.Mongler

also she found this grief camp thing in the middle of bumfuck wisconsin in september that i think we're going to go to. basically jsut a big retreat for people dealing with loss to get together and not feel so alone and overcome their experiences together. sounds like a good opportunity despite the wisconsin aspect

YPrrrr

Quote from: C.Mongler on March 15, 2019, 08:08:02 AMalso she found this grief camp thing in the middle of bumfuck wisconsin in september that i think we're going to go to. basically jsut a big retreat for people dealing with loss to get together and not feel so alone and overcome their experiences together. sounds like a good opportunity despite the wisconsin aspect
Wisconsin is better than you think! Should be gorgeous in September. Sounds like a good retreat, hope it will help

C.Mongler

lol i'm half jokin, wisconsin is fine. half my family is from there in fact so i've been plenty of times in my life. just sure is a whole lot of nothin' in some parts lol  goodjob;

YPrrrr

True, I always say I would never live in Wisconsin again unless it was Madison n_u

C.Mongler

My fam is all Kewaskum, AINT SHIT OUT THERE

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