i keep on-

[6M69I69B9]

i just can't stop refreshing.  i go to other threads just to slightly distract myself of constantly refreshing, but it's always going to be the same thing.  games, something i don't know about, people i don't talk to and their conversations, etc.. but at the same time, i'd ask myself wow who is actually active right now, so i go down and see who's doing what, and i see myself a head of everyone by seconds for seconds.  i'd get so obsessed i wait from time to time for someone to be active, at least in same minute im active in.  all the time i wait for those 4s to turn into 1s.  it goes so slow.  i see the users from 11, 8, 7, to 5.  then i start staring aimlessly and when i come back there's 11.  does my absence create some sort of gap in which ppl just come in?  na.  maybe im just giving myself too much credit for such supernatural tears.  i guess it's always time that does.  (not just time, as in time can be not of its own just and can be grouped with things that are just, still.)  the time that i miss.  but sometimes, i think that, that what was missed should be the last of my worries.  that i should finally stop and go into the world in which i can interact with everything around me that they can also go according to my constant need for activity if i wish so.  but i also worry that if it's not from or of some external source, then...it will just be from me, and only me.  so i try again from the start, and it goes into a never-ending cycle that i don't know the end of.

[Nyerp]

ok

[me003]

yea I stopped reading halfway.
Hi though.

[PLEASEHELP1991]

welcome to psychology ^_^

[??????]

r u autistic