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Started by Claquesous, October 23, 2009, 09:46:56 AM

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Claquesous

I wanted to something special for my 1000th post, since, for me, it's a big milestone. I'm just gonna talk about stuff. I've actually been preparing for this post for maybe half a year, writing stuff down on a piece of paper. But I lost it and I don't remember what was on there.




I once had a dream when I was half awake and drinking water from the cup on my table. There was a huge fly in there and I didn't realize it. It had a crunchy texture, like how I would imagine dead, dry grass would feel. Now I have an irrational fear of there being a fly or roach in my water that got in there overnight.

I like to think about how cozy it would be to be inside on a cold and rainy day, curl up under some blankets, drink hot chocolate, and play a good RPG. Preferably on a handheld.

I can do this weird thumb thing. I've only known one other person who could do this. Everybody else is freaked out.

Sometimes I think about how I might get burnt out on video games by becoming a programmer. How am I supposed to get a job doing anything, if doing that job makes me lose interest in whatever the subject? This could go for anything. Anybody else experience this disillusionment?

Last year during school I sometimes wondered what my (two) friends saw in me. Like, why were they my friends? What kind of special something did I have? We met in 7th grade through Yugioh, but we don't play that anymore and are still friends (or were, until college made us go separate ways). So what is it that keeps us friends?

Somewhat along those lines, I wonder how people perceive me. Physically and... personality wise (I guess that's what I'm trying to say). Sometimes I look in the mirror and think that what I'm seeing couldn't possibly be what other people are seeing. I don't know why I think that way.

In 9th grade, I re-met an old friend of mine from 5th grade. We went to different middle schools. I didn't recognize him at first. It's cool to see how people have changed over the years. Some change drastically, some don't change a bit.

Apart from my two aforementioned friends, I didn't talk to anyone throughout middle and high school. Didn't care to. Also didn't care about making more friends, mine were more than I could ask for. But recently I've been wondering if I felt this way only as a reaction to being alone. Like a...defensive mechanism against loneliness. A way to convince myself that I wasn't lonely.

Also sometimes, like last week I think it was, I saw three people who were obviously friends. One said something about going to get something to eat and they others to join. Moments like these give me a very slight pang of loneliness, but for the most part, I prefer being by myself. Especially when I'm already isolated.

My quietness has led many people to ask "Why are you so quiet?" I never had an answer besides "I dunno." I guess I'm more of an observer than a participant. That seems to carry over to my online persona, which I'd say is just like my real life one. I think most people are different in real life than they are online, but I could be wrong.

I remember last April (I'm not too sure actually), Lawlz asked me when my birthday was. April 5th. He asked me why I never said anything about it. My friends also asked me this at one point. I never had an answer for this question either, but now I realize that it seems really attention-whorish to go "hey today's my birthday" just so people can tell me happy birthday.

But my friends said that I should've said something so that we could've hung out. It made me feel lucky to have such great friends.

I don't make a lot of threads, maybe you've noticed. I like to mull them over before I post them. Think about what kind of reaction it might have, and most of the time, I decide against posting. Almost decided against posting this one, but I thought "nah, I can't waste my 1,000th post on something trivial."

I want to go to a street corner and sit down and play some music. The only problem is the incredibly small population in my town and I can't play any instruments, and don't have any laying around the house that I could learn. Actually, I played trumpet and euphonium in middle school band, so I could play either one of those, but nobody these days enjoys some good trumpet (and I don't have either one). I'm thinking like King Crimson style. That'd be cool.

I also want to live off a meager paycheck. Something about living simply and below your means draws me in. In fact, I wanted to live out in the woods at one point. But I can just live in a house with no electricity and it'd be easier.



So there ya go. Maybe after you read all this you'll know a little bit more about that guy with the name you can't pronounce. Or maybe you'll not read any of it because you don't like walls of text. Might add more to this if I feel like it or think of anything else.

Minus;

I think im the same way, i never tell anyone when my birthday is. And even though i want to/like to/try to be alone. Someone always comes and sits with me, or talks to me. So that makes it a bit hard.
But i yearn for real friends that actually care/understand me.

And id rather earn a good paycheck, and not have too much electrically and live in a forest in some mountains outside a city, and ironically be a programmer in that city.

I did read, it was good, very good.

Lozal

Hello, Mister Clasquesous.

King Crimson is amazing.  happydood;
powerofone; powerofone; powerofone; powerofone; powerofone;

Quote from: Pyrate on November 20, 2009, 05:11:08 AM

"You have an amazing body. You have amazing breasts."

Nyerp

i think you're cool

rdl

My friends are lazy fucks. I ask them if they want to do anything and they always say no. and no it's not because they dont like me, it's because they never do anything. theyre always afraid of making an ass out of themselves anytime i ask them if they want to do something stupid.

im not quite sure how my post relates to yours. but you were talking about friends and i figured i might as well join in.

QuoteI also want to live off a meager paycheck. Something about living simply and below your means draws me in. In fact, I wanted to live out in the woods at one point. But I can just live in a house with no electricity and it'd be easier.
something tells me such an idea isn't as romantic as you might think it would be.

Claquesous

Quote from: justjack on October 23, 2009, 10:40:43 AM
I did read, it was good, very good.

Thanks. Makes me feel good that other people take enough time to listen to others.

Quote from: Jet Black Wii on October 23, 2009, 10:58:11 AM
King Crimson is amazing.  happydood;

Unfortunately most people on a street corner, I think, wouldn't agree. It's all this pop/hiphop/rap stuff nowadays.

Quote from: Nyerp on October 23, 2009, 11:12:43 AM
i think you're cool

I think you're a cool dude as well.

Quote from: RDX on October 23, 2009, 11:34:44 AM
My friends are lazy fucks. I ask them if they want to do anything and they always say no. and no it's not because they dont like me, it's because they never do anything. theyre always afraid of making an ass out of themselves anytime i ask them if they want to do something stupid.

im not quite sure how my post relates to yours. but you were talking about friends and i figured i might as well join in.
something tells me such an idea isn't as romantic as you might think it would be.

My friends asked me to do stuff. I went over to their house at every opportunity. It's fun stuff hanging out with good friends. Wanted to go to a movie one time, but I declined, and I also never called them, so I think that had something to do with why they never called me any more and we didn't do anything together in our senior year.

Also, I probably wouldn't live without electricity, but yeah, I can live meagerly easily. It's not like I go out clubbing or buy the newest cell phone or some new clothes just because.

Classic

I'm glad you've come to Boyah. You're a neat guy.

Lozal

Quote from: Claquesous on October 23, 2009, 11:56:07 AM
Unfortunately most people on a street corner, I think, wouldn't agree. It's all this pop/hiphop/rap stuff nowadays.
Ah, yes. Quite depressing. At least the generic rap stuff, there is some that's good.

But, really. The general population's taste in music sucks.  saddood;
powerofone; powerofone; powerofone; powerofone; powerofone;

Quote from: Pyrate on November 20, 2009, 05:11:08 AM

"You have an amazing body. You have amazing breasts."

[hedy]Zidone

Quote from: Claquesous on October 23, 2009, 09:46:56 AM
I remember last April (I'm not too sure actually), Lawlz asked me when my birthday was. April 5th.

Happy birthday  happydood;

Travis

major feels in this thread

C.Mongler


squirrelfriend

idr this user at all
did boyagers make alternate account to artificially increase their user base? p. likely

Daddy

Quote from: squirrelfriend on April 05, 2016, 01:15:51 PM
idr this user at all
did boyagers make alternate account to artificially increase their user base? p. likely
he was pretty active idk what you mean

C.Mongler

honestly C.Mongler is just JMV's alt account

squirrelfriend

Quote from: Khadafi on April 05, 2016, 01:40:31 PM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on April 05, 2016, 01:15:51 PM
idr this user at all
did boyagers make alternate account to artificially increase their user base? p. likely
he was pretty active idk what you mean
my point is that he was just too similar to other boyagers for me to remember him tbh

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