List the funniest things you've heard from your grandmother.

[Beta]

At the 50th anniversary she couldn't stop laughing.

[Geno]

My grandma started freaking out because she apparently thought that everyone on Xbox Live could hear everything that's going on in the room and she didn't feel safe.

[Gladjaframpf]

My grandma started freaking out because she apparently thought that everyone on Xbox Live could hear everything that's going on in the room and she didn't feel safe.

You mean you haven't heard about the secret microphone that Microsoft installed in every Xbox 360 so they can learn everyone's secrets and then blackmail them?

[One Man Freak Show]

My grandma enjoys talking about her love life, which may or may not include having sex with old men in a truck.

[Hensa]

my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican

[Hensa]

"warsh"

omfg I lold

[Kalahari Inkantation]

my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican

every single thing on this list made me laugh

[laskfn]

oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else

[noodle_976]

my grandma...
-Informed me that eggwhites look like cum
-flipped off a guy in subway
-has no problem using the word "fuck" more than once in a single sentence
-believes in the "try before you buy" theory when it comes to relationships
-tells people with road rage to "blow it out their ass"
-informed me that the guy in front of me in line was buying extra-large condoms while I was making an emergency purchase for some tampons at 2 o'clock in the morning.
-is Mexican

My grandma isn't like that, my mom and my aunts are though D:

[Det in F♯ Major]

my grandma...

-is Mexican

I'm so sorry.  edumacate;

oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else

BAHAHAHAHA
i remember that phone call about the toliet paper like it was yesterday.

[ME##]

oh gramma, shes told me way to many things

when i was seven, i clogged the toilet at our cottage and she proceeded to start yelling at me about toilet paper, so it soundled like this
"YOU ONLY NEED TWO SHEETS! ITS CHARMIN ULTRA!!!"

and then i've seen her eat dog food because she thought it was like chex mix

my cousin was wearing a hoodie vest with an 8bit skull and headphones on it and she goes
"WELL THAT LOOKS SO NICE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE"

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

screamed at me for eating cheesits

has never referred to dinner as dinner, its always supper
and i cant remember anything else

My grandmother does that all the time too lol.


Also, dishwarsher, warsheringmachine, warsh.

[Daddy]

My grandmother was an alcoholic lol.

[Lotos]

has gone into a lingerie store and lifted her shirt up and said "i need a bra like this!"

I actually lol'd.

[One Man Freak Show]

Also, my idiotic grandma on my idiot stepdad's side still puts a "From Santa Claus" gift tag on all of my Christmas gifts.

Last year, she actually called me and told me that "Santa might be a little late this year." I had a video of it on YouTube somewhere, but I deleted it. I could upload it again, though.

She is a weird, weird, woman. She breathes like Darth Vader, has a bright orange afro, and wears blood red lipstick. Everything she does makes me want to punch kittens, but she makes the most delicious brownies ever.

[Lotos]

I might as well add something my great-grandma said to me.  She just died on the 9th.  She wasn't like I rememberred her when I was younger, as she had dementia and lost her memory.  Couldn't remember anyone.  She knew that she knew my mother and my grandmother, but did not know their names.  When my mom asked her who my sister was, she rememberred that she knew my sister.  My mom then asks her if she knew who I was.  "Her [my sister's] boyfriend."  She was 10, I was 15.  We're still a little disgusted at it a year later.

My grandmas don't say funny stuff that often, or that I hear