Mario Galaxy fucking sucks. Go buy a PS3.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

"Never before have I seen a title of such great importance continue to fall from grace with each successive installment. We all have glowing memories of playing Mario 64 at a Toys R? Us kiosk back when the revolutionary title released alongside the Nintendo 64 in ?96, but like Super Mario Sunshine before it, Mario Galaxy represents a significant regression for the franchise.

While other publications are being handsomely rewarded for their stellar reviews of Mario Galaxy courtesy of Iwata himself, Sony Defense Force is not paid or endorsed by any commercial interests. This is the only website where you will find genuine, unadulterated impressions of the year?s most hyped titles. Unfortunately, Mario Galaxy is marred with numerous gameplay decisions that ultimately have me questioning what Nintendo was doing for the years they spent developing the title.

One of the primary faults of the game deals with the simplistic gameplay. Mario Galaxy?s formula for game design can be summed up as follows:

1. Randomly place normal items (apples, jars, bugs) in outer space.

2. Have Mario waggle his way from each small planetoid by either collecting one of five items, destroying all the enemies on the planet, or finding a way to unlock a star pad.

3. Eventually you will manage to waggle your way to the end planet, where you will have to perform some simplistic task in order to attain a star.

Repeat this process 120 times, and you have Mario Galaxy summed up quite well. While Mario 64 boasted of large, expansive environments, Galaxy mainly has Mario traversing the smallest land masses imaginable in a very linear fashion. After the first few stars, the average player will get tired of this repeated gameplay process. It must be noted that the game appears to be limited by last-gen hardware. The Wii/Gamecube just simply isn?t capable of rendering large, open environments in HD. Perhaps if Mario Galaxy were on the PS3, they?d be able to create a truly next-gen Mario because Galaxy looks marginally upgraded from 64 which was released over 11 years ago.

Another flaw is that the combat mechanics are also in desperate need of revision. While games like Uncharted are making the combat an engaging experience, Mario Galaxy?s combat involves jumping on enemies heads or waggling your waggle-stick for a waggle-attack. Perhaps this would work well if the core gameplay itself was challenging or difficult; but it?s not. The game appears to be designed for a 4 year old. It?s easier than the original Mario on the NES.

Overall, to say Mario Galaxy is a disaster is an understatement. If you?re an easily amused child with a hard-on for nostalgia, pick up Mario Galaxy. Otherwise, if you?re an intelligent gamer that is interested in a real videogame experience, pick up a Playstation 3 and have a turn at Uncharted, easily this year?s best."


http://www.sonydefenseforce.com/?p=318#comments


This is pathetic. Puh-the-tic. Just the demo of Galaxy had me hooked, and rating it under 5 is just retarded, even if you are a big stupid Sony fanboy.
Don't you just hate it when retarded fanboys say shit like this? :'(

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

waggle waggle waggle

sonydefenseforce.com

Now above, we see the two things the made me lol the most

[KonohaShinobi]

Lol I got pissed off when I read the title, then entered the thread and saw the quotation marks. I don't see why anyone would even visit that site, besides the lulz.

[Infel]

I wanted to kill you until I noticed it was a copypaste.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

I wanted to kill you until I noticed it was a copypaste.

That's the point of the title.

[YPrrrr]

Getting pissed off at someone because of a thread title is idiotic.

Odds are it's just a shock title to get more views and posts. My favorite type of title personally.

Good job Fantron

[ncba93ivyase]

I don't recall whether this website was made as a joke or what.

[Selkie]

Oh lawd lol

If this is serious...

1. Randomly place normal items (apples, jars, bugs) in outer space.

2. Have Mario waggle his way from each small planetoid by either collecting one of five items, destroying all the enemies on the planet, or finding a way to unlock a star pad.

3. Eventually you will manage to waggle your way to the end planet, where you will have to perform some simplistic task in order to attain a star.

Repeat this process 120 times

Thanks it is a pretty good VIDEO GAME. That sounds like the perfect video game to me honestly 

Mario Galaxy?s combat involves jumping on enemies heads or waggling your waggle-stick for a waggle-attack

No shit, it's a Mario game 

if you?re an intelligent gamer

They act as if playing video games is serious business 

[LINK2K9]

I don't recall whether this website was made as a joke or what.

Is is a joke, I love how peopel take it seriously.

In reality, only a Nintard would make a site like that.

[heltar]

I wanted to kill you until I noticed it was a copypaste.

Me too. Even though I got bored. I just like the obstacle levels.

[The artist formally known]

Also notice  how they don't say "go buy this game" because PS3 has no games