Jurassic Park III II: The Remake or FUCKING READ, YOU FUCKING WHORES

[The artist formally known]

no its a real person nub

oh yeah i forgot that v was all in my head

[Samus Aran]

FUCK ITS A DIRECTOR NOT AN ACTOR

jeez im sorry...don't hav to get so mad

[Andrew1911]

"Ugh... Did I just get beat up by someone from church again?"



"Hi, honey. The others are outside... If you want to join them. But, we can have fun in here..."



Reason #1,024 why bald and/or balding people will never be cool.



"Hello, Dr. Grant! Sorry about the whole beating you over the head until you became unconscious! Hope that didn't leave a sour impression of me!"



"Whatever, bitch. Just tell your bitch to stop screaming into the god damn machine thing. Doesn't she realize there are deadly fucking dinosaurs here that will be attracted to this place because of that loud damn sound? I mean, Jesus Christ, you have to be mentally retarded... But, I digress... Just tell her to shut the fuck up."



"BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN!"



"Honey! Dr. Grant wants you to shut the fuck up!"



"Who the what now?"



"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."



"Run, bitch, run! Big ass motherfucking dinosaur coming this way!"



"God. God. Can't be first to die. Can't be first to die. I'm black. I'm black. Can't fulfill the damn sterotype. Must make black people proud!"



"Wait, honey, should we take off now? I mean, we haven't been shown where the exits are and what to do in an emergency!"



"God damn, why won't this plane start up faster? Can't it realize that I'm black and I can't be killed first? God dammit!"



"Please... Don't take off and, somehow, stop the plane before you all can possibly stop."



"Hey... That's that guy who hit me on the back of the head! Run him over good."



"No! Who will complete my stamp collection?"



"Thank God! I'm not the first to die! Black people everywhere will cherish this film that ended the sterotype forever!"



"Aw, hell naw."



Previously on Lost.



"Holy smokes! Crash landing!"

[The artist formally known]

FUCK YA

[Samus Aran]

God damn, that movie made me want to smack that bitch so hard.

HEY LET'S USE A MEGAPHONE ON AN ISLAND WITH DEADLY BEASTS THAT ARE ATTRACTED BY SOUND

[Andrew1911]

For this part of the movie, I have inadvertly turned Spike Lee's commentary on. Enjoy the Spinosaurus attack with Mr. Lee's wise words.



"Now, see how the black man is the only one on the plane who looks in a state of panic. Everyone's going about their ways to find a way off BUT the black man is left weeping in the pilot seat. Let's thank Hollywood for finding yet another way for exploitating the black man. Give them a round of applause, gentlemen."



"Here comes a joke... Prepare yourself for the camp, people."



"Oh, we haven't landed yet? That was pretty funny but I have to ask one thing... Why doesn't the black man make a funny? Only the white man is allowed to crack jokes? William H. Macy is allowed to look like a human vagina in the name of comedy but the black man has to run around screaming his head off? Shame on you, Joe Johnston. Shame on you."



"Here comes the single most awful thing put on film."



"Wow, this is just disgusting. I love how the black man doesn't grab onto the seats... He grabs onto the white woman. The racism here speaks for itself. The last grasp the black man tries to make is for the white woman. I know when I die, the last thing I'm going to try and grab is a white woman. Perhaps, they can grant me eternal life."



"I just love how the black man is given what probably is the most painful death in the movie. Let's see... His entire leg is bitten into by a large dinosaur from several stories. The dinosaur begins to shake and rattle his entire body for several seconds. Finally, as if it wasn't enough, he throws his body onto the ground. But, that's not it! He drags his broken body as far as he can until the dinosaur steps onto him and chews his skull. Fantastic."



"Now, this final shot just pisses me off. It's almost like they're glad to be rid of the black man. Macy is just like, 'Thank God, Leone. Now... You're safe. You won't be raped on this trip.' But, my favorite part has to be Billy's face. There isn't a source of compassion or fear. It's almost as if he's overjoyed the black man has been eaten. You know what? Fuck this. I'm out of here. Give me my money. I'm going to go cry in a corner while drinking some beer."

[Andrew1911]

so who liked spike lee's commentary ^_^

[V]

FUCK YOU V

Lol.

Also, Post of the week, day, month, and year Anjew. 

[V]

floated so everyone can witness this thread of awesome.

[Pyrate]

Fucking awesome, Andrew. That movie made me shit my pants.

[36chambers]

Make a voiceover of the entire movie, that would be kick ass.

[Andrew1911]

"Oh, don't worry. It's just dead meat. Anyone hungry?"





"DON'T FUCKING MOVE! WE FINISH THIS NOW."





"What the hell? I told you all that we finish this now! Aw, hell naw!"



And, thus, a shitty battle begins.



"Oh, God! Don't step on me! I have so much to live for! My cat Mittens needs to be fed! Mittens needs to be fed, dammit!"



How the fight should have ended.



"Damn, son, this is some crazy shiznits!"



How the fight actually ended.

[Nyerp]

jesus shit this is awesome

[Tomboh]

Now, I will shove these fucking plastic toys down your god damn throat unless you don't fucking play with the fucking right dinosaurs.

wait.

why does he want him to play with the wrong dinosaurs now

[Houdini]

Best thread. Ever.