What the Fuck are These?

[Socks]

For some time I have witnessed a unique and unusual invasion. An invasion of an unsettling nature. They appear suddenly on your wall or curtain, desk or bed, and the nightmare begins. Half fly half grasshopper, they seem freaky and weird. But this is only the beginning. With six legs and two antenna, they appear like some sort of mutant insect. Partly because of their constant movement of the antennae and quick jerky transits, which instills a sensation of discomfort, and partly for their seeming intuition and subdued intelligence, they present a horror never before seen. The real challenge lies in killing them. The fuckers are more resilient than a fly and less cumbersome than a grasshopper, better shielded than a spider, and just tough to nail for good. I smacked one off the ceiling with a book, had it drop, twitch and spin for a few minutes, crawl away and smacked again with a magazine, after which it was still alive. Then I placed it inside an industrial grade microwave oven on high for 15 seconds,  it was still alive! So I just smiled and drowned the fucker, turning on my garbage disposal for insurance.

Seriously though, what the fuck!? I don't think they bite, or cause any issues for a human. But goddamn, their mere presence is so ghastly, I cannot stand them. I think my prejudice has more to do with my unfamiliarity and recent history with them, which causes me to assume a new species, given their mutant appearance and behavior. So I consider them illegitimate to exist and therefore require extermination to appease the natural order and balance of things. I kill them.

Can anyone identify this suspect?

[spoiler][/spoiler]

[Nyerp]

when you smash it and it doesn't die you're supposed to keep smashing it until it does

[Hiro]

looks like some sort of cricket

[Hippopo]

when you smash it and it doesn't die you're supposed to keep smashing it until it does

Get a heavy text book, and smoosh on a hard surface.  Then, slide the text book back and forth while still applying pressure.  This will kill any insect.

It's a cricket.

[snoorkel]

There were like 25 of these in my house yesterday!!!!

[Selkie]

Shit, they are evolving...



I don't have any of those things but I have those big ants. I hate killing them because that crunch feeling kinda bugs me out. Pun not intended.

[Socks]

it is not a cricket. i do not think. it is very small, no larger than a house fly, minus the legs. its tail is curved and bulked, apart from the body which has the legs. this is unusual for this type of bug. the toughness cannot be understated. it is not a matter of killing it. but the resistance relative to size and power is astounding, admirable and present. and i just don't like them. they creep me out.