Fucking produce

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

I was nice and relaxed today, a picture of ice cool with a book and some heavily spiked homemade lemonade (say that a few times out loud) letting the rays take a dance across my epidermis when I decide to have people over for dinner. How about a motherfucking barbecue?

Usually these occasions are planned somewhat in advance when I know people are in town. But I decided to send a general invitation to most people on my phone's contact list. So I set out walking, not driving, (I was feeling all lemonade-y, if you dig) to the store down the road for some supplies. Plenty of veggies, some burgers and a bottle of gin, because nothing's better on a mild summer evening than a gin bucket.

I wobbled home with my food and drink and set out for preparations. I'm cutting up onions and slicing green peppers and peeling carrots when disaster struck. The carrot peeler slipped off the end of the carrot and proceeded to peel my thumb. The result was a big hunk of skinny grizzle being forcibly removed from my person. Blood immediately was everywhere, and by everywhere I mean on my hand, on the counter and all over my carrots. So not really everywhere. But it was somewhere. Here. Or there because I'm not in my kitchen. But here in the sense that it was on my hand. It's still in my hand but not the same blood that was on it, at the time.

See?

I was in pain and furious and I threw the offending carrot and the peeler across the kitchen. The peeler hit the edge of this awesome holograph background-ed last supper painting I have hanging above my table and nicked the motherfucking edge. Collateral damage man!


I wasn't feeling the idea of the barbecue anymore but I invited several people so I stuck through it and finished cooking. I was a shitty, slightly drunk and bloodied handed host and I got rid of my guests rather quickly after dinner was finished.

So how do I keep this from not scarring? And for those lazy motherfuckers, I'm not summarizing said events so dont ask.

[Nyerp]

stop eating carrots

[Cookie]

Who peels carrots? And why?

[YPrrrr]

Bloody thumb buddies cjlubdoods;

There are some creams you can buy that supposedly reduce scarring

Who peels carrots? And why?

Because they come out of the ground and the outer layer absorbs pesticides

[??????]

Bloody thumb buddies cjlubdoods;

There are some creams you can buy that supposedly reduce scarringBecause they come out of the ground and the outer layer absorbs pesticides

that's why you shouldn't be allowed to eat peaches and strawberries
no one bothers to peel them and they're loaded with pesticides <3

[YPrrrr]

That's why I only buy peaches and strawberries locally and in season cjlubdoods;

[??????]

That's why I only buy peaches and strawberries locally and in season cjlubdoods;

we are so alike ^________~

[YPrrrr]

we are so alike ^________~

Quiet woman you'll scare ME##

[ME##]

Quiet woman you'll scare ME##

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

Who peels carrots? And why?

Besides said points, even and especially with freshly picked carrots, the "skin" is a filmy cast that just doesn't taste good.

that's why you shouldn't be allowed to eat peaches and strawberries
no one bothers to peel them and they're loaded with pesticides <3

I pick my own strawberries every summer

Usually, I buy most of my organic shit from weekly farmer's markets down the block. There's always an asian guy or nine there who try to sell me bonsai trees.

[Thyme]

Quiet woman you'll scare ME##

Well, that would mean that Clucky and I are alike, which is scaring me in turn.

[strongbad]

I love you stories so much Sgt. Pepper <3