help me come up with a cool story to tell in case any school kids ask about my

[snorkel]

running from the cops and tripped while jumping a fence

[the shortest route to the sea]

One time I slipped on ice and scrached my hand, in these really thin cuts that could pass for bite marks. I told people I punched a dog in the mouth, and I was believed.

When people ask my about the scars on my arm, I tell a story that I posted a while ago about bear wrestling. Or I should tell the one about my cat getting hit by a car.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

One time I slipped on ice and scrached my hand, in these really thin cuts that could pass for bite marks. I told people I punched a dog in the mouth, and I was believed. When people ask my about the scars on my arm, I tell a story that I posted a while ago about bear wrestling. Or I should tell the one about my cat getting hit by a car.

That's pretty nifty.

Unfortunately, nobody believed me when I said that I was walking around in the middle of the night being  and suddenly a werewolf, yeti, and trex ran out of the woods at me. They attacked and I fought them off one by one. Eventually I got the upperhand on the yeti and snap its neck. The werewolf broke my arm but I don't give up I kept fighting through the pain and punched it so many times its skull collapsed. Then the final fight I needed to win was against the trex that had been looming over me the entire time but I was too quick for him. I run up his back and ripped out his eyes and he fell to the ground crying and begging me to forgive him. Then I walked home with my arm broken and pushed the bone back into place and put a cast I made out of chewing paper like a wasp. 

Or when I said that my dog dug up a dinosaur egg in my back yard, and brought it to me. I tenderly loved and cared for it until it hatched and the dinosaur ripped and tore through my house, knocking me to the side and I tripped and fell breaking your arm. 

Or that I fisted a cow and it kicked when I slid my arm out.

Or that I did it to myself to see what pain would feel like. I still don't know what pain feels like.

intense jerk off session

I was rolling with some friends, stuck my arm out the window to flip off some douche, hit it against a mailbox at 35mph

I tripped balls on some acid hardcore this weekend, don't know anything beyond that.

i running from the cops and tripped while jumping a fence

[Andria]

Well maybe you should meet some cooler people who'd believe that kinda thing