I think I need a new excercise regimen

[Socks]

Get a gym membership and a personal trainer.

Most institutions of education have facilities and equipment which does not require a lethargic waste of money, time, and effort, with a membership in a generic commercial joint. Furthermore, personal trainers can be compensated for by proper knowledge and self discipline. If you're a middle aged woman of average IQ, low self esteem, lacking discipline, but not time and libido, well, personal trainer by all means. One thing is for sure, there will be a pumping.