REMINISCE ABOUT YOUR EARLY CHILDHOOD (3-7)

[ncba93ivyase]

In kindergarten, I knew this girl named Courtney that looked like a skeleton. Her skin was tight, thin, and almost transparent. Her hair was long, black, stringy and balding. She was often considered the smartest girl in class, but I was still considered to the the smartest kindergartner in the school. There was also this girl that was about 250 pounds and she was utterly disgusting. Also, this one time I went to the bathroom, I somehow managed to lock myself in (we had bathrooms in the class.) I pounded and yelled at the door and my beautiful teacher opened it for me. Really, what purpose does a bathroom door serve if the lock only keeps you in but anyone on the outside can turn the knob and let you out? This is what led me to always keep my bathroom door open just a crack whenever I go to take a leak. Also, one time, my teacher, Ms. Rumball, bent down in front of me to answer a question and  I had TITS IN MY FACE and they were gorgeous and had a little mole on the left upper breast. She had fair tan skin and carrot orange hair.

In first grade, I met my best friend, Chris. I also fell in love for the first time with a girl named Britney Henry. She was a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan and I often talked about my beloved Sega Genesis with her. Her mother, I believe, owned a game a movie rental place, aptly named Henry's. I would often rent Toejam and Earl 2 and Sonic 2 from them, and had all my first grade journals revolve around imaginary adventures with TJ and E. I remember my bitch of a teacher always screaming because I would spell "and" "an" in my journals, and she would yell at Britney for putting a "tail" on her a's. When I were learning to better write, I told Britney that we should always put a "tail" (this was before Mrs. Robinson whined about it) on our a's because it makes it look fancy. I've done it ever since. Also, I remember our dinosaur section and drawing pictures of dinosaurs with dozens of heads. The drawings, while a bit crazy, were amazingly good for a first grader, and I still consider them quite nice looking. I lost most of my drawing ability after that but regained much in middle school. Also, I told a girl named Kelsey that I would go to her house and brutally slice out her guinea pig's heart because she stole my idea for a treehouse that we had to draw. She cried and went up to Mrs. Robinson and I was like "OH SHIT, SHE'S GOING TO TELL ON ME." The teacher hated me, so I would've been in for some deep shit. I yelled to her I was sorry and that I didn't want her to get me in trouble, and she simply asked if she could go to the bathroom. I believe this was also about the time Dexter's Lab began to air, and when I first saw it at my grandmother's house (we didn't have cable in our home), it inspired me greatly to be a crazy scientist and one day have some fantastic laboratory.

I'LL TYPE MORE LATER.

Also, I know I could break these up into smaller paragraphs, but I don't feel like it. If someone else like Houdini wants to, he or she can. 

[Placebo Headwound]

The thought of Lawlz ever being a child scares me for some reason.

[ncba93ivyase]

The thought of Lawlz ever being a child scares me for some reason.

Just to comfort you, I'll tell you I fantasized about having sex with Misty from Pokemon in second grade.

[UnagiPower]

TITS IN MY FACE

That happened to me too in kindergarten. Except my teacher was fat.

[Feynman]

You're so full of bullshit.

[Samus Aran]

I think I'll go one event at a time here, one per post, in no particular order.

On my third day of kindergarten, the bus skidded on some ice, went into the ditch, and my face slammed against the window, giving me a black eye and chipping one of my teeth. When I got home later that day, my stepdad teased me, saying I probably got beat up by a girl since I was such a wimp.

Christ, I was only 5 and he already started degrading me.

[Daddy]

ok
When I was 3 I got an snes, I don't remember much from then.

When I was 4 my brother was born. I also had a hamster who bit me so I threw it at the wall and it died. 

and now:

...September 1994.  I was four years old, turning 5 in 2 weeks.  My mother woke up me.  "You're going some place special today"  She led me to the table where I began eating a wonderful breakfast of Eggs, Bacon, Toast, Ham and Orange Juice.   I thought I had done something really good;  I had gotten my favorite breakfast AND I was going some one special.   Shortly after my aunt Pauline came in a car to pick me up.  I was so excited, I couldn't wait to get to this special place.     We departed from my house and about 5 minutes later we pulled up to a big brick building.  Oh boy, I was excited.  I walked into the building.  There were other children sitting in a circle playing with toys.   YES! Other children.   I then notice something on the wall...It was a chalk board.   The fucking bitch tricked me.  I WAS AT SCHOOL. IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN.  My mother tricked me into going to school.   

Over time in this new school I made new friends.  Steve.  Doug, he was a good friend. He had a sister who was 2 grades above us.  Her name was Lindsay,  I later learned that they lived 2 floors above me.   We started hanging out.   I finally had kids my own age to play with.   Halloween came.  It was our parade day.  We walked around in our costumes. I was the Red Power Ranger.    It was fun.     As the fall passed and the winter came and passed too.   It was now spring.  We made easter baskets and got Candy.   I couldn't believe it. It was awesome.  A few months after  the school year had ended.  I played with my new friends all summer.   Soon it was September I could now begin first grade.

First grade was different.  I was the only one in my Kindergarten class who was able to read.  When I entered the first grade I and girl were the only other students able to read.   She was a cute girl.   She appeared to dislike me though.  The other kids would make fun of me.  "Haha James likes girls, he's gonna get cooties"  It was mean.   My teacher seemed to dislike me too.  I would have to stay inside for gym and for recess. Why wasn't I allowed to play with my friends?  What did I do wrong?

Second grade came soon after.   I was hanging out with Doug in his house.  His sister was there. She was in 4th grade.  She suggested we play a game.  Hide and seek.   She had us hide.  She found me first.  She brought me to her room. It was the base.  She shut the door.  She told me that we were playing a game.   She kissed me and told me that it would be a fun game called House.  I remember house, it was a game I played in kindergarten.  She told me that this was different.  She slid her hand down my pants. She told me to do the same to her.  She was 2 years older than me.  Smarter, I listened to her.  We fondled each other for a while.  We heard footsteps outside her door--it was Doug, he wanted to know why no one was looking for him.    We stopped right there, but we'd play house at other times.        Second grade also brought the stick fights.  There was a kid named Russel, he'd fight with sticks with me.   We didn't get along.

Second grade ended and third grade began.   I walked into my class,  I only knew a few kids.  I saw Russel.  I sat down next to him.  We talked and quickly became best friends--He remains my best friend to this day...

[FullmetalGanon]

I used to be so loud and approachable. Also I remember this girl Delany Kelly. She had the cutest freckles and big blue eyes. I think she had a crush on me.
Then in second grade I did exceptionally well in math and they decided to skip me to third grade. I became pretty popular until sixth grade. This is when I became shy and careless.
Oh god how I've changed. For the worse.
What happened to that britney woman

[Hensa]

he already started degrading me.

this makes me want to punch something. REALLY HARD  

ok...my dad was into car body painting, so i watched him do that for a few years.
i also watched him smoke joints and hit my mom...so my mom kicked him out.

but they got back together.
somehow.

[Samus Aran]

I used to be so loud and approachable. Also I remember this girl Delany Kelly. She had the cutest freckles and big blue eyes. I think she had a crush on me.

That reminds me of my first crush. In first grade, I became infatuated with a girl named Robin. I don't remember her last name. She was extremely cute, but I don't think she was well-liked by other girls, since she was a bit of a tomboy. She was by herself a lot, and I'd play tetherball with her a lot during recess. She was also a total rebel towards the teachers. She got more "pink slips" than anyone else I can remember in the class.

I seem to remember an occasion where we kissed, but it didn't exactly result in anything, considering that we were in first grade.

Note that this was during the second time that I lived in California. The school was Pioneer Elementary, which is still there in Antelope (suburb area of Sacramento).

[Squirtlejazz]

I went to school. Played soccer.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

I used to be talkative and fun(ny) before 7th grade. For some reason, after 7th, I turned into a shy nerdy guy. :'(

[Kalahari Inkantation]

That reminds me of my first crush. In first grade, I became infatuated with a girl named Robin. I don't remember her last name. She was extremely cute, but I don't think she was well-liked by other girls, since she was a bit of a tomboy. She was by herself a lot, and I'd play tetherball with her a lot during recess. She was also a total rebel towards the teachers. She got more "pink slips" than anyone else I can remember in the class.

I seem to remember an occasion where we kissed, but it didn't exactly result in anything, considering that we were in first grade.

Note that this was during the second time that I lived in California. The school was Pioneer Elementary, which is still there in Antelope (suburb area of Sacramento).

I remember my first crush. I was in kindergarten at the time, and there was a girl named either Shanon or Sharon, I can't remember exactly what it was. Anyway, she obviously had a crush on my, too, because she'd always call me over to sit at her table and sit next to her on the bus to and from school. Also, every guy liked her, but I was the only one she liked back. We admitted that we wanted to kiss each other once, but it never happened.
Oh well.

[Feynman]

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT

[Samus Aran]

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT

Shut up.