Boyah Forums

General => The Lobby => Topic started by: Socks on October 25, 2016, 06:29:14 PM

Title: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Socks on October 25, 2016, 06:29:14 PM
guys, i am literally and utterly incapable of holding a grudge. another woman just hurt me and i said my piece and told her off, and i am trying to stick to my principles but her showing remorse and some emotion is making me think this is not gong to last long, as usual. i argue with my best friend once a week it seems as we work together and from the outside you would think it is the end of the world, but then a day later we are best buds again. i don't know, i value people and relationships and i don't think words can be really that harmful, and i consider the totality of a situation and person and i don't know, i just can't hold a grudge.

i don't think it makes me weak, or naive or stupid, because i am aware of everything and i never forget anything but i just can't seem to stay mad over a certain situation. now, this is not the same as me not liking people, because that i just don't care for you if i think you are a terrible or unkind person or whatever, but if i actually like you, i most likely will not be able to hold any sort of grudge. granted nothing serious has happened to test this to the ultimate extreme, but pretty significant things and still i am ok. it's how i know i am never getting divorced unless she leaves me and that i will have a successful marriage. lol how about you?
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: rdl on October 25, 2016, 07:38:19 PM
me too thanks
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Mando Pandango on October 26, 2016, 06:55:48 AM
Forgiveness is a powerful and important tool. Holding a grudge is stupid. A grudge is just a ball of poison that only hurts you as you hold onto it. It hardly affects its target as much as it does the holder.
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: C.Mongler on October 26, 2016, 07:14:38 AM
i hold a grudge against everything

walk signal changes too quickly on the street corner?

grudge that bitch
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: YPrrrr on October 26, 2016, 09:09:39 AM
I have this habit of arguing with people and then when they tell me they never want to speak to me again I never speak to them again. Even after they apologize and shit.

So I guess I'm pretty good at grudging
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Socks on October 26, 2016, 09:13:34 AM
interesting interesting would not have guessed it.
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Mando Pandango on October 26, 2016, 09:34:45 AM
Quote from: YPargh on October 26, 2016, 09:09:39 AM
I have this habit of arguing with people and then when they tell me they never want to speak to me again I never speak to them again. Even after they apologize and shit.

So I guess I'm pretty good at grudging
thank you for proving my point
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: FAMY2 on November 01, 2016, 05:00:46 PM
Quote from: Pop"icl...!Pop"icl...!Pop"icl...! on October 26, 2016, 06:55:48 AM
Forgiveness is a powerful and important tool. Holding a grudge is stupid. A grudge is just a ball of poison that only hurts you as you hold onto it. It hardly affects its target as much as it does the holder.


But what if the target has given you so much poison that you hurt less by just walking away?
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Socks on November 01, 2016, 06:23:53 PM
you can still walk away and not hold the poison. you can forgive someone, but completely separate yourself from them, whether through effort or easily is up to you. only reason you could not forgive someone is if they really wronged you, hurt you etc... and either continue to be that way, or can't seem to realize and understand what they did. both are equally guilty.

so in that case, depending on your involvement/sacrifice, you might be left holding the poison for a long time love.  saddood;
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Mando Pandango on November 02, 2016, 03:10:32 AM
Quote from: FAMY2 on November 01, 2016, 05:00:46 PM
Quote from: Pop"icl...!Pop"icl...!Pop"icl...! on October 26, 2016, 06:55:48 AM
Forgiveness is a powerful and important tool. Holding a grudge is stupid. A grudge is just a ball of poison that only hurts you as you hold onto it. It hardly affects its target as much as it does the holder.


But what if the target has given you so much poison that you hurt less by just walking away?
Forgiveness doesn't mean accepting that person back into your life. It's the act of accepting what they've done to you. You don't have to accept them back into your life or give them a second chance. It's all about releasing the anger that will poison you, and only you. It's a selfish thing, in my eyes, to forgive someone. It's done for nobody's benefit besides your own.

It's also worth noting that forgiveness and justice are not mutually exclusive (so long as you understand the difference between justice and revenge).

Socks said it pretty well, I feel. I'd be hard-pressed to find a situation that didn't warrant forgiveness, if it even exists.

Just my opinion.
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: FAMY2 on November 02, 2016, 03:32:37 AM
Why is life such a bitch sometimes? I guess I've accepted that they are who they are and always will be. But I can't let them continue to make me feel so miserable and hurt.

Narcissistic people are so mean.
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: Mando Pandango on November 02, 2016, 03:57:56 AM
Quote from: FAMY2 on November 02, 2016, 03:32:37 AM
Why is life such a bitch sometimes? I guess I've accepted that they are who they are and always will be. But I can't let them continue to make me feel so miserable and hurt.

Narcissistic people are so mean.
That's exactly it. That's why we forgive.

It's not always easy, either, but it's worth doing.
Title: Re: WTF why am i this way
Post by: FAMY2 on November 02, 2016, 07:49:02 AM
Thanks guys. It all makes sense.  lubdoods;