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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 06:06:33 PM

Title: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 06:06:33 PM
no offense felt but you're a go nowhere turd. that's right, you're the turd someone forgets to flush. you float there in a yellow but ever browning pond, deteriorating; falling a part with your excrement flakes drifting slowly downward to the bottom of the bowl. it's an almost beautiful fashion the way the flakes fall through the tainted waters... until it's remembered that you're just a lump of shit

you're the thing in the public washroom that makes someone yell "oh god what the fuck is stench? i've smelled pieces of shit before but that has to be on the level of 3rd world dysentery". they're essentially right, but by the point you've been left alone in the stall for a few weeks now. fungus has sprouted from what was once you and has begun to creep out of the bowl.

the janitors, too fearful to clean your stall - nay - your lair, let this new life ferment in its revolting home. the fungus sprawls ever outward over the following days. it claims new stalls to support its size. the sinks are enveloped to supply necessary moisture for its slick hide. ultimately, the hand dryers are secured ensure a steady temperature regulation... perfect for more powerful and exponential growth.

the weeks have become months now and fungus has become flesh, though no one has entered your dank cavern in weeks to really know what's happening. yes, a thick miasma forms a barrier outside the door preventing any mortal entry.

a thick membrane begins to seal any crack and plug any hole. water is continuously added to this stew of filth most foul until the entire washroom is submersed in the putrid viscous fluid. washroom? it is no longer a washroom and hasn't been one for over half a year now. it is a den of rancid decor.

nine months have passed now since someone forgot to flush their felt down the toilet. who was it? who began this disturbing fecal matter of life? it is irrelevant, for brewing in the center of this pulsing den is an abomination.

what was that? that noise! right there! just now!? something is knocking on the washroom door... from the inside out. the pounding! the kicking! you can almost hear screaming from within, as if this once washroom is somehow now alive itself!

*SPLLUUURRRRSSSSSSSHSHSHSHSHSHHSH FWOOOSSHSHHHHRRRRLRLRLSSHSHSHSHSHS*

THE DOOR HAS BROKEN OPEN! mucous like gel pours rapidly revealing the veiny membrane that was once in total control. hallways are coated with slime as more vile liquid flows gently out, emptying the... the womb.

out from the womb steps an abomination. an offensive, greasy, verminous creature. out steps felt reborn


that's right felt, you are not the first, nor will you be the last. you were your predecessor that took the unflushed shit in the toilet nine months ago. you sprouted from nine months of shit fermenting in months of revolting mung.

the cycle has been completed but it is still a cycle. felt, determined to ensure the survival of his gene pool, must find a suitable mate. a new washroom to infect, a new toilet to shit and not flush, to stand up and gaze upon what will become himself once more

in mere moments felt knows where he must go. he knows the perfect breeding ground that he can survive in for generations with the only disturbances proving to be a boon to his kind...

felt has found...boyah

with a shit eating grin from this piece of shit entity, felt speaks - "it's time to start shitposting"

and the cycle begins anew





so yeah no offense felt just the facts
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: silvertone on June 15, 2016, 06:09:46 PM
felt should get a week long ban unless he extrapolates and provides a thoughtful rejection to every single paragraph in this post before tomorrow ends.
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: FAMY2 on June 15, 2016, 06:11:33 PM
And this is why we can't have anything nice.    akudood;
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Travis on June 15, 2016, 07:06:38 PM
be careful with all that bigoted speech dude he might block you
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Samus Aran on June 15, 2016, 07:20:55 PM
Quote from: Travis on June 15, 2016, 07:06:38 PM
be careful with all that bigoted speech dude he might block you


he already did lol
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: C.Mongler on June 15, 2016, 08:28:21 PM
is this copy pasta? because if it isn't it is now
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 08:34:29 PM
Quote from: C.Mongler on June 15, 2016, 08:28:21 PM
is this copy pasta? because if it isn't it is now
it was originally a post made by sivic on linkjge. i just replaced all mentions of linkjge with felt and outsider with boyah
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 08:59:21 PM
can someone quote it for me to read
i'm tempted to read it
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 09:05:32 PM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 08:59:21 PM
can someone quote it for me to read
i'm tempted to read it
kys
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:05:59 PM
anybody? well then. guess i don't have to read it
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: silvertone on June 15, 2016, 09:13:26 PM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:05:59 PM
anybody? well then. guess i don't have to read it
I wasn't going to do you the favor, but what the hell.

Quote from: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 06:06:33 PM
no offense felt but you're a go nowhere turd. that's right, you're the turd someone forgets to flush. you float there in a yellow but ever browning pond, deteriorating; falling a part with your excrement flakes drifting slowly downward to the bottom of the bowl. it's an almost beautiful fashion the way the flakes fall through the tainted waters... until it's remembered that you're just a lump of shit

you're the thing in the public washroom that makes someone yell "oh god what the fuck is stench? i've smelled pieces of shit before but that has to be on the level of 3rd world dysentery". they're essentially right, but by the point you've been left alone in the stall for a few weeks now. fungus has sprouted from what was once you and has begun to creep out of the bowl.

the janitors, too fearful to clean your stall - nay - your lair, let this new life ferment in its revolting home. the fungus sprawls ever outward over the following days. it claims new stalls to support its size. the sinks are enveloped to supply necessary moisture for its slick hide. ultimately, the hand dryers are secured ensure a steady temperature regulation... perfect for more powerful and exponential growth.

the weeks have become months now and fungus has become flesh, though no one has entered your dank cavern in weeks to really know what's happening. yes, a thick miasma forms a barrier outside the door preventing any mortal entry.

a thick membrane begins to seal any crack and plug any hole. water is continuously added to this stew of filth most foul until the entire washroom is submersed in the putrid viscous fluid. washroom? it is no longer a washroom and hasn't been one for over half a year now. it is a den of rancid decor.

nine months have passed now since someone forgot to flush their felt down the toilet. who was it? who began this disturbing fecal matter of life? it is irrelevant, for brewing in the center of this pulsing den is an abomination.

what was that? that noise! right there! just now!? something is knocking on the washroom door... from the inside out. the pounding! the kicking! you can almost hear screaming from within, as if this once washroom is somehow now alive itself!

*SPLLUUURRRRSSSSSSSHSHSHSHSHSHHSH FWOOOSSHSHHHHRRRRLRLRLSSHSHSHSHSHS*

THE DOOR HAS BROKEN OPEN! mucous like gel pours rapidly revealing the veiny membrane that was once in total control. hallways are coated with slime as more vile liquid flows gently out, emptying the... the womb.

out from the womb steps an abomination. an offensive, greasy, verminous creature. out steps felt reborn


that's right felt, you are not the first, nor will you be the last. you were your predecessor that took the unflushed shit in the toilet nine months ago. you sprouted from nine months of shit fermenting in months of revolting mung.

the cycle has been completed but it is still a cycle. felt, determined to ensure the survival of his gene pool, must find a suitable mate. a new washroom to infect, a new toilet to shit and not flush, to stand up and gaze upon what will become himself once more

in mere moments felt knows where he must go. he knows the perfect breeding ground that he can survive in for generations with the only disturbances proving to be a boon to his kind...

felt has found...boyah

with a shit eating grin from this piece of shit entity, felt speaks - "it's time to start shitposting"

and the cycle begins anew





so yeah no offense felt just the facts



read it and weeep
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:13:50 PM
he needs to write a fuck you letter
it's good for him to relieve stress
however unsubstantiated it is
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 09:17:06 PM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:13:50 PM
he needs to write a fuck you letter
it's good for him to relieve stress
however unsubstantiated it is
[spoiler][move](http://i.imgur.com/kduTUqV.gif)[/move][/spoiler]
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Travis on June 15, 2016, 09:46:32 PM
Quote from: Sakura Kinomoto on June 15, 2016, 07:20:55 PM
Quote from: Travis on June 15, 2016, 07:06:38 PM
be careful with all that bigoted speech dude he might block you


he already did lol
he blocked me too lmao apparently i'm a homophobe
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: ?????? on June 15, 2016, 10:14:58 PM
Us linkljg black lol
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 15, 2016, 10:20:18 PM
Quote from: اÙ,,Ù,رÙ,Ø© on June 15, 2016, 10:14:58 PM
Us linkljg black lol
no lol
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: FAMY2 on June 16, 2016, 07:56:49 AM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:13:50 PM
he needs to write a fuck you letter
it's good for him to relieve stress
however unsubstantiated it is


Worked for me on Outsid. Mine was original and to the point. Short and sweet.

How much time did it take Ezlo to look up that post and copy pasta?
Title: Re: On Felt and his Turd-like qualities
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 16, 2016, 03:03:37 PM
Quote from: FAMY2 on June 16, 2016, 07:56:49 AM
Quote from: squirrelfriend on June 15, 2016, 09:13:50 PM
he needs to write a fuck you letter
it's good for him to relieve stress
however unsubstantiated it is


Worked for me on Outsid. Mine was original and to the point. Short and sweet.

How much time did it take Ezlo to look up that post and copy pasta?
like five seconds