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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: Bushy on June 12, 2007, 12:18:39 PM

Title: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Bushy on June 12, 2007, 12:18:39 PM
I was riding home from town today on the bus, listening to music and not paying attention to anything. As we were stopping at one of the bus stops, a girl in the back started screaming. I looked back and saw her pointing out the window, and I followed her stare. Out in an unfenced garden were 3 guys. Two of them standing, one of them was on the ground bloody. The taller of the two men had a baseball bat and was about ready to smash it into his head again, when they realized a whole busload of people were looking at them. As the bus driver got on his radio thingy to get the police the other man, who hadnt been doing anything, took a pistol out of his pocket and shot the guy in the head. At this point the whole bus was in shock and glued to the morbid scene. The two men got into a car and sped off. When I came home I was visibly shaken. I told her what I had just seen. Then my mom got scared, she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought "Nah, forget it, Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: ClassicTyler on June 12, 2007, 12:19:09 PM
Again, I almost believed this. dawkins;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: ncba93ivyase on June 12, 2007, 12:20:04 PM
Fail.

First off, no text walls.

Second, Bel-Air can't be visible without scrolling. They need to at least read a few paragraphs.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: MARIOMANIAC21 on June 12, 2007, 12:21:55 PM
 It needs to be longer and like Lawlz said, the Bel-air part needs to be covered up.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Wrench on June 12, 2007, 12:23:44 PM
Too easily discovered. Break it into paragraphs and make sure Bel Air is in a good spot.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Bushy on June 12, 2007, 12:24:02 PM
Quote from: Lawlz on June 12, 2007, 12:20:04 PM
Fail.

First off, no text walls.

Second, Bel-Air can't be visible without scrolling. They need to at least read a few paragraphs.
Damn edumacate;

Well I tried gonk;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on June 12, 2007, 12:24:28 PM
The first thing I saw was "Bel-Air". Absolutely horrible. psyduck;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: demonprince on June 12, 2007, 12:47:43 PM
SUX
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Tomboh on June 12, 2007, 12:49:36 PM
Terrible Bel-Air.

Way to short, and I could easily tell it was a Bel-Air in the first sentence.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Feynman on June 12, 2007, 12:50:19 PM
Well, a few months back I was at my cousin's house. After a few minutes I heard a gunshot, a glass break, and a car drifting. I walk outside and see that there's a dead guy in a car and cops are everywhere. I told my mom what happened and she got scared, she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought "Nah, forget it, Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:55:28 PM
booooo

ancient meme
unoriginal
skipped to end cause i knew you would pull shit like this

I'm disappointed.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Feynman on June 12, 2007, 12:57:13 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:55:28 PM
booooo

ancient meme
unoriginal
skipped to end cause i knew you would pull shit like this

I'm disappointed.


Well, he saw Lawlz's topic and he decided he wanted some attention. 12-year-old-see-12-year-old-do.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:58:51 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 12:57:13 PM
Well, he saw Lawlz's topic and he decided he wanted some attention. 12-year-old-see-12-year-old-do.


Bassir, it is up to you to make Boyah less predictable/like NSider than it is right now.

YOU HAVE THE POWER, AND THE AVATAR THAT STARES INTO MY SOUL AND FILLS ME WITH RAGE.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Feynman on June 12, 2007, 01:00:37 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:58:51 PM
Bassir, it is up to you to make Boyah less predictable/like NSider than it is right now.

YOU HAVE THE POWER, AND THE AVATAR THAT STARES INTO MY SOUL AND FILLS ME WITH RAGE.


I would like your help with this mission.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Bushy on June 12, 2007, 01:01:05 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 12:57:13 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:55:28 PM
booooo

ancient meme
unoriginal
skipped to end cause i knew you would pull shit like this

I'm disappointed.


Well, he saw Lawlz's topic and he decided he wanted some attention. 12-year-old-see-12-year-old-do.
TOO MANY HYPHENS
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Feynman on June 12, 2007, 01:03:02 PM
Quote from: Bushybrow on June 12, 2007, 01:01:05 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 12:57:13 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:55:28 PM
booooo

ancient meme
unoriginal
skipped to end cause i knew you would pull shit like this

I'm disappointed.


Well, he saw Lawlz's topic and he decided he wanted some attention. 12-year-old-see-12-year-old-do.
TOO MANY HYPHENS


HAVEN'T THEY TAUGHT YOU ABOUT HYPHENS IN SCHOOL YET?
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Bushy on June 12, 2007, 01:03:22 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 01:03:02 PM
Quote from: Bushybrow on June 12, 2007, 01:01:05 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 12:57:13 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 12:55:28 PM
booooo

ancient meme
unoriginal
skipped to end cause i knew you would pull shit like this

I'm disappointed.


Well, he saw Lawlz's topic and he decided he wanted some attention. 12-year-old-see-12-year-old-do.
TOO MANY HYPHENS


HAVEN'T THEY TAUGHT YOU ABOUT HYPHENS IN SCHOOL YET?
Yeah, last year in 5th Grade
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 01:05:13 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 01:00:37 PM
I would like your help with this mission.


That's madness! You ask an impossible task of putting our differences aside to fight a common foe! A cliche' found in most sequels!
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Feynman on June 12, 2007, 01:12:56 PM
Quote from: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 01:05:13 PM
That's madness! You ask an impossible task of putting our differences aside to fight a common foe! A cliche' found in most sequels!


Together, we can do it!
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: InbredPsychosis on June 12, 2007, 01:15:05 PM
Quote from: Bassir on June 12, 2007, 01:12:56 PM
Together, we can do it!


Okay, box of eggs. I'll accept!
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on June 12, 2007, 01:17:43 PM
This guy had a sausage. I was scared. I told my mom, ans she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought "Nah, forget it, Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Ezloﺕ on June 12, 2007, 01:19:53 PM
This just sucked.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: superclucky on June 12, 2007, 02:56:00 PM
I skipped to the end.  powerofone;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Riosan on June 12, 2007, 03:09:48 PM
My story was much better.  powerofone;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Silverhawk79 on June 12, 2007, 03:11:37 PM
I already saw this on Nsider/Outsider/4Chan/wherever.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Samus Aran on June 12, 2007, 03:21:29 PM
This thread hardly even deserves my lockage.
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: Silverhawk79 on June 12, 2007, 03:48:19 PM
Quote from: Kaz on June 12, 2007, 03:21:29 PM
This thread hardly even deserves my lockage.
holy shit you're back. y;
Title: Re: I witnessed a murder just now
Post by: mariofreak55 on June 12, 2007, 04:26:10 PM
unlocked



then relocked for great justice

that sucked, i saw bel-air by accident which ruined it, and it wasnt even worth a laugh out loud.