what are you anxious about RIGHT NOW
ill start
i am anxious about all these exams i have this week and my future and meeting my gf's mom over dinner which sounds horrifying
my existence
had an extra week to study for my math test and now it's tomorrow and i still haven't really studied
my woman left me the day before a chain of exams and projects and i don't know whether i'll pass any of them
also i don't know what'll happen after i graduate because if she doesn't move back then all my post-college plans are dead for financial reasons
i'm scared about upcoming appointments
Graduate soon, finding work, holding out cardboard signs on street corners.
But even that's sort of in the "oh well what the hell" category.
Everything else is flowing and growing. No point in worrying too much about the things I can't possibly do anything about I guess. I think I've done about as much as I can to nail things down. The rest is up to Shiva.
It took me a while, but I think I'm finally back in that cucumber cool type of head-set after a little bit of sinking below the waterline.
Relationships are square and exciting again, also.
considering moving to pittsburgh with lawlz
Quote from: who on October 16, 2013, 07:24:31 PM
considering moving to pittsburgh with lawlz
def sounds like something that would create anxiety
Quote from: udderfailure on October 16, 2013, 11:39:00 PM
def sounds like something that would create anxiety
n
we'd have a great time
hmm i just got off the phone w my aunt and she told me she would help me w rent if i moved back to flagstaff and finished up school at nau. so i guess i have that to think about and be stressed about
lol you guys have real problems
i'm anxious because i have a milia seed on the right side of my face
also because too many people are hitting on me without wanting to know who i am :'(
Getting in to grad school.
future
but specifically just wondering if ill ever get out of this sheltered life, getting out of cc in a semester and a half, don't know what i'm going to do afterwards but learn how to drive better and actually get more work experience anywhere. i don't know if i'll ever stop being lonely for the rest of my life. been shitting on my grades this semester and struggling to do work. i've been really down for the last couple of weeks. nothign interests me, enthusiasm has been gone for many years and i'm just laughing out of fear. at least my brofessor friends have been trying to help me a bit with coping. but I know in actuality it's just up to me to find what i've been struggling to find. i don't want to sound cheesy. but...i've just felt like i've been missing out on something all my life. i don't get life. there has to be more to it... thinking sucks.
thinking is shit
i can't stop it.
i gotta do something about.
suicide can't be an option
i've been literally been living in fantasy for sometime now. i want it to stop...
I don't know.
Quote from: The Last MIB on October 17, 2013, 08:28:17 PM
future
but specifically just wondering if ill ever get out of this sheltered life, getting out of cc in a semester and a half, don't know what i'm going to do afterwards but learn how to drive better and actually get more work experience anywhere. i don't know if i'll ever stop being lonely for the rest of my life. been shitting on my grades this semester and struggling to do work. i've been really down for the last couple of weeks. nothign interests me, enthusiasm has been gone for many years and i'm just laughing out of fear. at least my brofessor friends have been trying to help me a bit with coping. but I know in actuality it's just up to me to find what i've been struggling to find. i don't want to sound cheesy. but...i've just felt like i've been missing out on something all my life. i don't get life. there has to be more to it... thinking sucks.
thinking is shit
i can't stop it.
i gotta do something about.
suicide can't be an option
i've been literally been living in fantasy for sometime now. i want it to stop...
I don't know.
i've fallen into this in the past few weeks
i used to say i didn't get depression and that it didn't make sense to me. after a 3 year peak in life, i realized that i probably was severely depressed most of my life but i just didn't realize it because i knew no other life. this extreme dissatisfaction with everything and just wanting it all to end is how i used to live every single day, but i can't handle it anymore after seeing just how good things could be.
and loneliness really, really sucks. meeting people is impossible without already knowing people.
Quote from: Pancake Persona on October 17, 2013, 08:55:38 PM
meeting people is impossible without already knowing people.
Nah, the thing is, this isn't true at all.
It's
easier to meet people when you know people. That's what you mean. Impossible; bullshit.
meeting people is impossible without doing things
knowing people is usually something that helps people do things
but it's easy to do things by yourself
i've met a lot of people through doing things without the intention of meeting people, like rock climbing, exploring beaches solo (usually going to popular smoke spots and smoking with strangers though lol), and going to smash tournaments
idk this was a realization that made me start doing way more things, too
Quote from: Boogus Epirus Aurelius on October 17, 2013, 09:24:59 PM
Nah, the thing is, this isn't true at all.
It's easier to meet people when you know people. That's what you mean. Impossible; bullshit.
a major problem is approaching people
if you approach someone alone, it's uncomfortable for everybody unless you're a specific type of person. i have some strange vibe that pushes people away when i try to approach them. the only way to get to know somebody (for someone like me) is basically to be forced to have them interact with you
and i've heard loads of bullshit all my life about how talking to people is easy, you just need to try, they don't really care, you get better with practice, etc. it really depends on the individual. we've all been approached by a person asking an innocent question but we assumed their intentions were more sinister, and we've all be approached by someone we thought would be decent and was completely batshit. our expectations set the grounds for the interaction
it really does get easier with practice
depends on the type of person you are
years of social rejection doesn't really make things better
i can relate
i was socially isolated up until 12th grade (the only real friends i had were on the internet, minus maybe one or two other people), and then i started socializing more and it was horrifying and ridden with anxiety and jealousy of other people who knew what they were doing
and then i somehow became super social in college (i credit starting to smoke weed, because it was such an easy excuse to socialize with so many people)
lol i was socially isolated until i ran away to the city
my anxiety was forced to be suppressed in sake of surviving
then after a year it was still mildly there
i thought socialization would have killed it completely
but i've gotten medicated for it, no more anxiety
then my socialization sky rocketed; parties, wild nights
coming home at 8, 9, 10 AM
days without sleeping
Then about in December I've gotten so tired of it all because I've still felt so empty and dull inside
About some weeks ago I decided to stop socialization and instead devote time onto things I really liked, which were all very solitary in nature
Then I started to get a bit better
but unfortunately since I'm extreme, I also really wanted to do things opposite of solidarity
like, really heavy socialization
to talk to several groups of people instead of a couple at once
or share my thoughts out to more people rather than internalizing it
but it's so scary to do that
it's way out of my comfort zone
and i'm so afraid to approach the rich and debutantes (because they're prettier than me and I have problems with my self esteem)
but i have to do it i guess :'(
these challenges are the only things that make me feel alive lol
habituation and repetitive rituals served nothing but stagnation and starvation for me~
i don't have any very close friends because i'm really detached and esoteric even when other people think i have a wonderful social life :'(
Quote from: Pancake Persona on October 17, 2013, 09:35:07 PM
a major problem is approaching people
if you approach someone alone, it's uncomfortable for everybody unless you're a specific type of person. i have some strange vibe that pushes people away when i try to approach them. the only way to get to know somebody (for someone like me) is basically to be forced to have them interact with you
and i've heard loads of bullshit all my life about how talking to people is easy, you just need to try, they don't really care, you get better with practice, etc. it really depends on the individual. we've all been approached by a person asking an innocent question but we assumed their intentions were more sinister, and we've all be approached by someone we thought would be decent and was completely batshit. our expectations set the grounds for the interaction
Dunno.
The times where I'm the most comfortable and open to meeting people and the times that I've actually met some great ones is at shows or events or little niche things. Everyone's there for the same reason, so there's an instant opening. College is super great for this because there's associations and groups for fucking everything out there and by showing up, you automatically have an
in with everyone in the room because that's why they're there too.
Quote from: Boogus Epirus Aurelius on October 18, 2013, 07:18:36 AM
Dunno.
The times where I'm the most comfortable and open to meeting people and the times that I've actually met some great ones is at shows or events or little niche things. Everyone's there for the same reason, so there's an instant opening. College is super great for this because there's associations and groups for fucking everything out there and by showing up, you automatically have an in with everyone in the room because that's why they're there too.
Which, I guess is confirming what you said.
Think of it as voluntary forced interaction.
Got extremely drunk and kept texting the girl i am semidating and she got upset.
She kept saying “不要对''...'-” which uh essentially means dont give me this drunken behavior. hard for an exact translation.
i didn't. she stopped talking to me. we went out to dinner tonight but she wouldn't talk to me. her friend said she wants to be with me so i gotta fix this.
Tomorrow I plan on doing so.
I've become less anxious around people mostly because i stopped caring what this nameless person thinks of me
this is dangerous because i berated a woman in portland for not finishing her sandwich (it looked like a nice sandwich from my drunk perspective and good sandwiches should never be wasted but i did make an ass out of my self [she was also new york elitist bitch but that's a whole 'nother thread all together])
Going and doing things in large crowds, where everyone is there for a common reason, is a really good way to approach people because you can just talk about the show or the exhibit or whatever.
Quote from: Khadafi on October 20, 2013, 08:08:40 PM
Got extremely drunk and kept texting the girl i am semidating and she got upset.
She kept saying “不要对我发酒疯” which uh essentially means dont give me this drunken behavior. hard for an exact translation.
i didn't. she stopped talking to me. we went out to dinner tonight but she wouldn't talk to me. her friend said she wants to be with me so i gotta fix this.
Tomorrow I plan on doing so.
dinner in complete silence? nice
Quote from: N o t S i d on October 21, 2013, 08:55:25 AMthis is dangerous because i berated a woman in portland for not finishing her sandwich (it looked like a nice sandwich from my drunk perspective and good sandwiches should never be wasted but i did make an ass out of my self [she was also new york elitist bitch but that's a whole 'nother thread all together])
honestly people who waste good food deserve it
Quote from: udderfailure on October 21, 2013, 09:10:30 AM
dinner in complete silence? nice
no her friend still talked to me.
and uh i fixed everything
she seemed so happy
now: job interview tomorrow. i'm not sure if it's more that i'm anxious about having to use the bus or being questioned about why i want to work a menial job.
Quote from: David on October 21, 2013, 06:45:39 PM
now: job interview tomorrow. i'm not sure if it's more that i'm anxious about having to use the bus or being questioned about why i want to work a menial job.
a position in plasma donation?
Quote from: Khadafi on October 21, 2013, 06:18:22 PM
no her friend still talked to me.
and uh i fixed everything
she seemed so happy
did you give her the d
i had to kick my dad out and im looking for a roommate and its all just been really stressful
Quote from: N o t S i d on October 21, 2013, 08:17:47 PM
i had to kick my dad out and im looking for a roommate and its all just been really stressful
Sorry, mang.
Quote from: N o t S i d on October 21, 2013, 08:17:47 PM
i had to kick my dad out and im looking for a roommate and its all just been really stressful
:(
hope things get better
Quote from: N o t S i d on October 21, 2013, 08:17:47 PM
i had to kick my dad out and im looking for a roommate and its all just been really stressful
i'll be right there
getting ready to embarrass myself for a hopeless job
Quote from: David on October 22, 2013, 12:27:25 PM
getting ready to embarrass myself for a hopeless job
Embarrass how? Hopeless how?
Those are some low low low expectations, amigo.
Quote from: Boogus Epirus Aurelius on October 22, 2013, 03:05:55 PM
Embarrass how? Hopeless how?
Those are some low low low expectations, amigo.
low expectations are what make my meagre successes seem worthwhile
i think it went fairly well though, she actually scheduled a time, rather than just saying it. it also was probably twice as long as my other interviews.
Quote from: David on October 22, 2013, 12:27:25 PM
getting ready to embarrass myself for a hopeless job
the fact that it's a job means it's in itself pretty hopeful. get money get paid. worry about getting a better job once you've got this experience under your belt. it'll help a lot.