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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 11:42:41 AM

Title: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 11:42:41 AM
So I guess I'll start by telling you all the back story. It all started about two months ago when my friend brought up this girl from her home town. They went to middle school together and had recently reconnected. Once they had arrived we started pre-gaming together. I found this girl to be very attractive and smart (God I'm a bad judge of character). We hit it off right away. We talked all night and it was great. The next weekend she came up again and we slept together. The morning after I woke up to her staring at me smiling somewhat oddly. I didn't really think much of it though as it was a great night. She left and all was well.

This is where shit started getting strange. So here I'm sitting in my room a couple weeks ago and she randomly shows up at my house. Didn't call or anything - nor did she come up with my friend. She doesn't knock on my door, just breaks in and comes into my room where I'm doing homework. The first thing she does it throw a book on my bed (note: I didn't know she came up alone at the time). She then says, "read this book it will explain everything about me." I look at the book on my bed and it reads something like "Vampirism that Occult Fiction." She then turns around and leaves my house and goes back to her home. I skimmed the book and apparently there are 'physic' vampires that steal your life energy. There's a lot more weird shit in the book but I won't bother writing about it.

So the next day she shows up at my house unannounced again and comes into my room. She asks me if I read the book. I say yes. She smiles. She then goes on to tell me that she believes that she is a vampire. Her evidence is the following: 1. she gets red eye in photographs. 2. other vampires visit her at night and have been since she was a child. 3. she will randomly speak in daemonic tongue.

After hearing this I am very startled. Though I prevent myself from panicking as I realize I'm dealing with a psychopath. She keeps telling more and more bizarre shit. Like the night that we slept together she didn't sleep and she just watched me all night petting me. That she thinks I'm keeping 'bad' vampires away from her like I'm some sort of ward.

After this I cut off all communication with her, and locked all my doors - at all times. Its been about a week and half since she last showed and since then I have recieved about 100 text messages - I haven't responded to a single one - about how she loves me and that she needs to see me. She has "liked" every photo on my facebook (all 600 of them).

Apparently she is coming up to my town tonight in hopes to see me. I am kinda frightened. Suggestions? Like, should I file a restraining order? I don't know if she is a violent person. When I first met her, I had no idea that she was like this and neither did my friends. So what else could she be? ahrahrgsjgljgrglkgld
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Andria on February 11, 2012, 11:52:03 AM
Introduce her to me please
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 12:51:37 PM
She's fucking stupid.

Introduce her face to the nearest curb.
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:04:12 PM
Ear her beaver
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:09:26 PM
Quote from: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:04:12 PM
Ear her beaver
why would she have a beaver?
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:11:40 PM
fuck her with a cross

and then fuck yourself
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:15:33 PM
buy her silver jewelry
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:22:05 PM
Quote from: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:15:33 PM
buy her silver jewelry
That would be a werewolf.
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:55:37 PM
Give her a beautiful Mulatto child
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 02:50:15 PM
Quote from: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 01:22:05 PM
That would be a werewolf.
It applies to vampires too
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_vampire_traits_in_folklore_and_fiction#Weaknesses
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 04:04:02 PM
I've heard about those nasty things

[spoiler]women[/spoiler]
Title: Re: So a vampire is in love with me
Post by: Boyager on February 11, 2012, 04:30:45 PM
Find better friends.