I hooked up with a fat chick at a new years eve party. It was one of the worst decisions of my life. I was drunk so I figured "Hey, more to love, right?". And I was right, but there was TOO much to love. It was disgusting, she was a whore. I didn't even use a pick up line I was just like "Ay girl baddood;" and any girl you don't have to use a line on or even treat like a person is not someone you want to be doing anything with. We went downstairs and started going at it, I closed my eyes and imagined it was someone hot, it was working, and then everything took a turn for the worst. "Will you give me a back massage?" oh god, I cringed, but that didn't stop me from doing it. Jesus christ I had never seen so much folding and faulting in a womens figure, It was like running your hands through a streaming river of cellulite. This went on for 10 minutes. Then after we're done I till her to sit up, and we go at it again and naturally I start imagining I'm frenching someone else more dreamy, like Margaret Thatcher. And then... she grabbed my weiner... and...
sucked my penis
end of story gimpdood;
ITT sexual experiences you regret
Well Thyme, I do regret having sex with people I would later despise.
The time I lost my virginity. :(
Quote from: Boyager on February 16, 2011, 11:47:58 PM
Well Thyme, I do regret having sex with people I would later despise.
I think this is DP's topic.
Thyme has higher standards than that. 5thgrade;
Last night I dreamt that I had purchased a sandwich from a local deli I frequent, where the fat middle eastern chick that works behind the counter always tries to flirt with me. Except in my dream, for whatever reason, she actually seduced me and I fucked her in her bed overlooking some muslim temple or whatever. And I woke up with a boner in the morning.
If I could be a virgin again I would chose that but nothing specifically.
Quote from: Boyager on February 17, 2011, 08:33:22 AM
I think this is DP's topic.
Thyme has higher standards than that. 5thgrade;
I haven't touched a sinful beverage since the summer I graduated. Plus I never went to the new year's eve parties I've been invited to.
Quote from: Boyager on February 17, 2011, 08:33:22 AM
I think this is DP's topic.
Thyme has higher standards than that. 5thgrade;
Whatever, Thyme is a huge slut 5thgrade;