Some really creepy autistic kid at school has basically been obsessed with me for the last 2 years... But now I think it's gone too far. He wrote a script for a movie he's working on that stars me, my family, and my friends...
The Scripts in the spoiler... god dammit.
[spoiler]Scene 1:
Jarrod ready for school.
Jarrod:VO: It was a normal day of school. I did not know what to expect. Ozzy blared from my alarm. I hope something good happens today.
6:45
Jarrodââ,¬â,,¢s mom: JARROD!!!
Jarrod: What?
Jarrod: I am out of bed.
Mr. Jamison: Dearest wife, the Seahawks lost again.
Mrs. Jamison: Aww dear.
Jarrod: I told you to go for the Patriots.
Mrs. Jamison: Jarrod. No talking down the seahawks at the table.
Jarrod: but mom. They have Tom Brady,Gostowski,Randy Moss. Who does Seattle have?
Jarrodââ,¬â,,¢s sister: They have Hassleback.
Jarrod: throw an interception much?
Mr. Jamison: JARROD!!!!!
Mrs. Jamison: Eat your Fruit loops Jarrod.
Jarrod: Well itââ,¬â,,¢s off to the bus.
Mrs. Jamison: Be sure to watch the movie. The teacher called.
Jarrod: I put more thought in it than the teacher.
7:00
Phillip
Phillip: A text?
Phillip: Jarrod.
Phillip: What to eat? What to eat?
Phillip: I shall eat some lucky charms.
Phillip: I donââ,¬â,,¢t want to be late.
7:25
Teacher: Ok children, you will be having a test today.
Jarrod: Teacher what is it about ?
Teacher: Jarrod, it is about communism in Russia,the cold war,what it was like in the 1950ââ,¬â,,¢s and such.
Jarrod: Did men get sandwiches in the 1950ââ,¬â,,¢s ?
Teacher: Why yes Jarrod. In fact they did. If you donââ,¬â,,¢t knock it off, I will ask you to make me one. UNDERSTOOD?
Jarrod: No teacher.
Teacher: What did you say?
Jarrod: I said no because I do not know how to make a sandwich. Thatââ,¬â,,¢s what the women are for.
Teacher:501111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:30
Jordan:FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Jordan: Not the old hag. NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Jordan: Well I am here.
Teacher: Young man. How dare you disrupt the testing process of the young mind.It is people like you who make our economy go poo poo.
Jordan: Itââ,¬â,,¢s your social security,Medicaid that make it go down old hag.
Jordan: Sit on my face.
Teacher: GET OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
8:00.
Jarrod: Jordan, you have the baked popcorn?
Jordan: yes man.
Jarrod: Will you be the holder?
Jordan: Sure man.
Jarrod: Sheââ,¬â,,¢s gonna wake up.
Jordan: Nah. Most of the kids here are asleep and the lady is deprived. She could meet her death bed soon.
Jarrod: Sheââ,¬â,,¢s not breathing. Hide the evidence.
8:20
Beeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.
8:25
Teacher:Ok class. Today we are watching the Simpsons movie and how it incorporates to biology. The questions are due tomorrow. You can kick back and relax.
Jess: Jarrod, Look.
Jarrod: What if I put a piece of licorice in her butt crack?
Jess: Do it.[/spoiler]
I am out of bed.
LMAO
oh my god i lol'd so hard at the licorice thing
and also i know this is terrible to say but how fitting is it that the dialogue has no emotion in it and it was written by an autistic kid
I feel like a bit of a sports nerd that the funniest bit for me was Hassleback girl;
50111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol what the fuck Jarrod
Jarrod
JARROD
"It is people like you that make our economy go poo poo."
this is a new saying i'm using from now on
I'm making a flash based on this. I have to.
Is there a scene 2?
Quote from: Nyerp on August 09, 2010, 09:05:21 PM
50111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol what the fuck Jarrod
Jarrod
JARROD
Yeah everyone knows my name already not a big deal.
Quote from: Man of Popsicle on August 09, 2010, 09:09:27 PM
I'm making a flash based on this. I have to.
Is there a scene 2?
He's still working on it. >.<
Quote from: GENOP on August 09, 2010, 09:29:38 PM
Yeah everyone knows my name already not a big deal.
As opposed to Nyerp's. yes;
Oh shit I haven't used Flash in 4 years or so. SO MANY BUTTONS.
Oh my god this is incredible, lmaolmaolmao
I can totally see Tim Burton doing something with this script
I demand all future incarnations of this be posted.
Quote from: Selkie on August 09, 2010, 10:42:25 PM
Oh my god this is incredible, lmaolmaolmao
I can totally see Tim Burton doing something with this script
Wow that's weird. That's exactly what I said.
There are so many things wrong with this script. There is no formatting, things are out of place, and there are no shot descriptions. This is a script.
[spoiler](http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g190/zackXLR/Screenshot2010-08-10at95016AM.png)[/spoiler]
I give it a 65/100
Quote from: Zack777 on August 10, 2010, 09:55:02 AM
There are so many things wrong with this script. There is no formatting, things are out of place, and there are no shot descriptions. This is a script.
[spoiler](http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g190/zackXLR/Screenshot2010-08-10at95016AM.png)[/spoiler]
I give it a 65/100
wrench;
Wow Zack. doodthing;
Quote from: Zack777 on August 10, 2010, 09:55:02 AM
There are so many things wrong with this script. There is no formatting, things are out of place, and there are no shot descriptions. This is a script.
[spoiler](http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g190/zackXLR/Screenshot2010-08-10at95016AM.png)[/spoiler]
I give it a 65/100
The kid's fucking autistic, give him a break...
BTW: I also have celtx :P
I was only kidding :3
I wasn't going to read this but I saw all of you thought it was funny, so I went back and read it and I didn't laugh. I feel mean now. doodthing;
Quote from: seuss on August 10, 2010, 06:57:11 PM
I wasn't going to read this but I saw all of you thought it was funny, so I went back and read it and I didn't laugh. I feel mean now. doodthing;
You would have laughed if you watched football n_u
Quote from: YPR on August 10, 2010, 07:07:21 PM
You would have laughed if you watched football n_u
I know who Matt Hasselbeck is.
He sent me a little bit more:
8:25
Teacher:Ok class. Today we are watching the Simpsons movie and how it incorporates to biology. The questions are due tomorrow. You can kick back and relax.
Jess: Jarrod, Look.
Jarrod: What if I put a piece of licorice in her butt crack?
Jess: Do it.
Jenna: Ooohhhh. Baby, I like it.
Jessica: What if we gave it to Larry?
Sub: Class,behave. I have ran out of star bucks.
Jarrod: Larry, you look hungry. Have a red vine.
Larry: MMMMMMMMM Thatââ,¬â,,¢s some damn good licorice.
Larry: Thanks friend.
Sub: Class I am back. Bell will ring in 5-4-3-2-1.
Beep
i like how we're not even told that jenna exists prior to her sexual encounter with a red vine, which isn't even licorice
WHO ARE THESE NEW CHARACTERS
WHY IS THE TEACHER SUDDENLY A SUB
WHAT'S GOING ON
oh wow, i didn't even read all the way to the punchline.
i guess it was the teacher who got pwnt. jarrod you're so cool, this is depressing.
The story is getting worse and worse. Where is the major conflict?
I nearly died at "Eat your Fruit loops Jarrod". myface;
Quote from: Zack777 on August 11, 2010, 08:21:31 AM
The story is getting worse and worse. Where is the major conflect?
The major what? :3
This all makes me wonder if Tommy Wiseau is autistic
Quote from: Ted on August 11, 2010, 12:41:42 PM
The major what? :3
I'll be able to spell one day.
Quote from: Zack777 on August 12, 2010, 10:47:28 AM
I'll be able to spell one day.
Moniters are full of conflects.
Quote from: YPR on August 12, 2010, 09:22:10 AM
This all makes me wonder if Tommy Wiseau is autistic
It's not like anyone really knows who that is, but you've obviously seen The Room.
Quote from: seuss on August 12, 2010, 09:13:21 PM
It's not like anyone really knows who that is, but you've obviously seen The Room.
oh hi mark
I DIDN'T HIT HER I DID NOT IT'S BULL SHIT I DID NOT HIT HER
I DID NAAHHT
I saw The Nostalgia Critic's video before he had to take it down, but not the movie itself. 5thgrade;
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ4KzClb1C4[/youtube]