My enjoyment of life would increase many times over. The mustache I desire is like this:
(http://www.handlebarclub.co.uk/images/moe.jpg)
Note I am much more beautiful than this man, although I can only hope to ever have a moustache so fine. I would desire it a bit more subdued and mayhap a bit shorter.
Also, to accompany this, a fuzzy and relatively short beard that would be absent of upper sideburns.
I wish I had a pencil thin mustache. The boston blackie kind. A two toned ricky ricardo jacket. And an autographed picture of andy devine