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General => The Arts => Topic started by: Selkie on October 07, 2008, 05:53:10 PM

Title: Poetry time
Post by: Selkie on October 07, 2008, 05:53:10 PM
some shit i just thought up...

It blankets the world with a sheet of white
Long after the sun has passed
It remains a watcher of human dreams
Illuminating signs on the path
But when it goes down for a quick sleeping break
The true glory of life unfolds
A canvas of glimmering pieces of joy
Our dreams find a whole new abode


ur turn
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Skylark on October 07, 2008, 05:55:43 PM
sounds sort of ready and the breathe-in kind, too. Cold air something.

poetry isn't my thing but we had to write one for class on Monday about "What isn't there"
[spoiler]there are pools that run rivers of blood through your body and across state lines
only we can see them
you try to explain how everything is connected
but i can't understand so i focus on something smaller,
a freckle on your knee,
and lay my head down
you keep it to yourself.

once you said that when we hold hands
a bug appears
and it crawls along your palm
you try to suppress a laugh but you could never stop it,
it tickles you on the inside
and i laugh too because
i have no idea what you're talking about[/spoiler]


Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on October 07, 2008, 05:59:05 PM
the rain falls down
on my face
down my face
onto the ground
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Hiro on October 07, 2008, 06:02:51 PM
The end.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Nyerp on October 07, 2008, 06:04:52 PM
meaningless
sentence
fragments
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Daddy on October 07, 2008, 06:13:57 PM
i wrote a haiku
just to post in this here thread.
i hope you like it :0
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Samus Aran on October 07, 2008, 06:36:03 PM
Haha, I don't think so. I don't post poetry on forums anymore. Nobody knows how to critique them anyway. And besides, most people here seem to think that poetry is pointless because they don't understand it, so I find it rather pointless to bother.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: strongbad on October 07, 2008, 06:57:06 PM
more like faggotry amirite

Yeah, pretty much what Kaz said. I don't know what good poetry looks like, and how to write anything decent.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: j o e i n c on October 07, 2008, 07:04:10 PM
this black man walked past
he stole my bike
my woman
and the like

Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Zovistograt on October 08, 2008, 03:25:38 PM
Oh
How did I get here again
It seems to draw me every so often
This place
I am reminded by
Notifications
I am reminded by
The users
The members
The lovers of
This place
I am drawn for the fleeting moment
It seems to draw me every so often
This place
I am drawn by
Notifications
I am drawn by
The users
The members
The lovers of
This place
The fleeting moment is passing
It seems to draw me every so often
The fleeting moment has
Passed
I bade thee farewell for a few months again.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Daddy on October 08, 2008, 03:38:03 PM
no zovi stay
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Zovistograt on October 08, 2008, 03:39:26 PM
Quote from: Khadafi on October 08, 2008, 03:38:03 PM
no zovi stay
k
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Staplerlock on October 08, 2008, 04:48:06 PM
I was actually surprised to learn
that this
is considered
poetry
if
you
randomly push
down on the enter key
breaking up sentences at the worst
part and continuing them after you
press enter some more times
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Samus Aran on October 08, 2008, 04:50:12 PM
Quote from: Staplerlock on October 08, 2008, 04:48:06 PM
I was actually surprised to learn
that this
is considered
poetry
if
you
randomly push
down on the enter key
breaking up sentences at the worst
part and continuing them after you
press enter some more times


Technically, yes, but it's certainly not good poetry.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Staplerlock on October 08, 2008, 04:53:58 PM
Quote from: ThunderKaz on October 08, 2008, 04:50:12 PM
Technically, yes, but it's certainly not good poetry.

Thats not the way you say something thats supposed to artistic is bad! You say its interesting. Then you sound more like a dick.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Zovistograt on October 08, 2008, 06:00:59 PM
Quote from: Staplerlock on October 08, 2008, 04:48:06 PM
I was actually surprised to learn
that this
is considered
poetry
if
you
randomly push
down on the enter key
breaking up sentences at the worst
part and continuing them after you
press enter some more times
Um...you have to do it right though.  In that type of freeform poetry, new lines mean either pauses, sudden changes in thought, abstract disruptions of flow of conciousness, and emphasis on certain important symbols or phrases.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Samus Aran on October 08, 2008, 06:21:38 PM
Quote from: Zovistograt on October 08, 2008, 06:00:59 PM
Um...you have to do it right though.  In that type of freeform poetry, new lines mean either pauses, sudden changes in thought, abstract disruptions of flow of conciousness, and emphasis on certain important symbols or phrases.


Unless of course you're trying to be an avant-garde asshole by avoiding all the guidelines.
Title: Re: Poetry time
Post by: Staplerlock on October 08, 2008, 07:18:25 PM
Quote from: ThunderKaz on October 08, 2008, 06:21:38 PM
Unless of course you're trying to be an avant-garde asshole by avoiding all the guidelines.

Which was what I was trying to get to. People like that usually shove the phrase "creative freedom" in your face when you say their stuff sucks.