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General => The Lobby => Topic started by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM

Title: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM
QuoteWASHINGTON, DCâ,”The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste.

"The average human body is now only 35 percent organic," EPA chief Ralph Johnson said. "Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil."

Johnson said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains.



http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_no




That's pretty disgusting if you can consider that we no longer naturally decompose.
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Feynman on July 28, 2007, 08:27:38 PM
i want to eet myself
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:28:23 PM
...What the fuck? Now I can't have a decent burial? psyduck;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:28:34 PM
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:27:38 PM
i want to eet myself
Why can't we ever have a good topic without it being in serious discussion?
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: ncba93ivyase on July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:26:30 PM
theonion
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:29:44 PM
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;

So it's fake?
Thank God.
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: ncba93ivyase on July 28, 2007, 08:30:01 PM
Quote from: Anakin Skywalker on July 28, 2007, 08:29:44 PM
So it's fake?
Thank God.
...You believe The Onion?
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:30:58 PM
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:29:04 PM
Weekly World News writes more believable stories.

Actually, WWN just had this featured in one of their papers, though it was about human bodies being dangerous to fish. psyduck;
lol y u ruin it
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:31:16 PM
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:30:01 PM
...You believe The Onion?

Uh, I didn't know of a website called The Onion until today. psyduck;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Feynman on July 28, 2007, 08:31:37 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:28:34 PM
Why can't we ever have a good topic without it being in serious discussion?


Because this topic sucks.
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:31:44 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:30:58 PM
lol y u ruin it

ily lawlz
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Hyper on July 28, 2007, 08:32:11 PM
i don't have silicon boobs
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:32:40 PM
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:31:37 PM
Because this topic sucks.
cuz lawlz ruin it
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:33:00 PM
Quote from: Hyper on July 28, 2007, 08:32:11 PM
i don't have silicon boobs

u prolly hav a silicon dik tho
lol
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Feynman on July 28, 2007, 08:34:00 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on July 28, 2007, 08:32:40 PM
cuz lawlz ruin it


I don't read the news unless it's in the form of a video with Anderson Cooper in it. spam;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Hyper on July 28, 2007, 08:36:38 PM
Quote from: Anakin Skywalker on July 28, 2007, 08:33:00 PM
u prolly hav a silicon dik tho
lol
rofl
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Kalahari Inkantation on July 28, 2007, 08:37:41 PM
Quote from: Hyper on July 28, 2007, 08:36:38 PM
rofl

lmao
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: [hedy]Zidone on July 28, 2007, 08:52:23 PM
Thought that said "human babies." spam;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: ncba93ivyase on July 28, 2007, 08:55:44 PM
Quote from: Zidone on July 28, 2007, 08:52:23 PM
Thought that said "human babies." spam;
GOD DAMN YOU. caterpie;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: NOA_Haunted on July 28, 2007, 08:58:25 PM
im going to be cremated or what not
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Daddy on July 28, 2007, 08:59:12 PM
Quote from: xXTheHaunted on July 28, 2007, 08:58:25 PM
im going to be cremated or what not
Try doing it while still being alive.
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: [hedy]Zidone on July 28, 2007, 09:40:31 PM
Quote from: Lawlz on July 28, 2007, 08:55:44 PM
GOD DAMN YOU. caterpie;

I love you, too. spam;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: pringle positive on July 28, 2007, 09:43:39 PM
lol onion
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Title27GT on July 28, 2007, 10:09:53 PM
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:34:00 PM
I don't read the news unless it's in the form of a video with Anderson Cooper in it. spam;
Anderson Cooper is a fuckin awful.
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: Reverse Psychology on July 28, 2007, 10:39:29 PM
Quote from: Bassir on July 28, 2007, 08:34:00 PM
I don't read the news unless it's in the form of a video with Anderson Cooper in it. spam;
what about wolf blitzer spam;
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: The artist formally known on July 29, 2007, 03:07:46 AM
I got kind of depressed reading this but then saw the URL
Title: Re: Human bodies no longer classified as biodegradable
Post by: guff on July 29, 2007, 11:02:30 AM
you idiots need to check out the onion's videos (http://www.theonion.com/content/video/study_multiple_stab_wounds_may_be)