Something that I've been pondering lately. We (the US) live in an extremely individualistic country, and it's kind of hard to step back and look at more collectivistic cultures where families stay together for the larger part of life.
Don't get me wrong, I fucking love my family. They've done so much for me (and still are) and they're a few of my favorite people in the world. But they're just people. I have an uncle who I can't fucking stand, and as a result of that, I've kind of phased him out of my life.
Is it worth keeping people in your life just because they are "family?" Isn't time better spent being around people that you mesh well with as opposed to people who share your genes? Same with Grandparents. I love my grandparents. They are lovely people. But I have no logical reason to associate myself with them besides the fact that they are family.
I do like the whole family as a safety net thing. My Aunt just came out as an alcoholic (well, by came out, I mean got a DUI and showed up to the pre-trial drunk), and even though we rarely see her, my immediate family has been working with her and my two cousins a lot to make things better. She'd probably be much worse off if it wasn't for my immediate family helping her, since her two sons are in college and don't have time to be constantly helping her. This sort of thing definitely makes me realize how awesome it is to have a supportive family, but in reality, the same thing could happen with solid friends who look out for you.
I guess I'm just wondering where other boyagers stand with their family and how much they value the idea of "family"
I would say family is important as they are most likely to be the ones shaping a large part of your young life. If you're lucky enough to have a caring family then the safety net thing is most definitely true as well. Even if you may not particularly like each other, the majority of families will take care of each other in the worst of times.
As far as being friendly... I can't really see it or understand it. People are best friends with their parents or call their grandparents on a weekly basis. I probably talk to my grandparents maybe once a year. I only talk to my parents as often as I do because otherwise my mom gets upset. I just have nothing to talk about with them really. It has gotten better lately though as they're loosening the reigns and giving more credence to my decisions rather than just nagging me into submission about what I should be doing with my life.
My Family Slaughtered a Pig with His bear hands and my mom Coooked the Body and we Feasted ON it.
I've wondered about this a lot lately as I've tried to tackle issues within my own family, and while they are people just like any other people, here is what makes them special: they are the closest people to you that you will ever have (that is, until you have a family of your own in the future, if you choose to do so). They are the closest related to you through genetics and blood, and you grew up with them. They were always there, whenever you needed them, and oftentimes when you least wanted them. That's what makes them family. And while you may part ways with them physically at some point in the future if you haven't already, they will always be your family. You will never have anybody closer to you physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, or spiritually until you have a family of your own.
Just something I've been thinking about...
i hate my family
but they're cool i guess
i can't have a normal relationship with them because they're both horrifically off giggle;
not too fond of family, just only a bit
personal things
I've been thinking about this recently. I recently became aware that I don't talk to my parents nearly as much as most people my age. I talk to my mom on the phone about once every three weeks or so. My dad and I exchange brief emails about once a month or a bit more infrequently, and talk on the phone about twice a year, if that. I see my parents maybe 4-5 times a year.
Does this make me bad? I just don't get people who call their parents once or twice a week, and I REALLY don't get people who call or text their parents daily. What do they even say to them? I mean I didn't keep my parents informed on the daily goings-on of my academic or social lives in high school-- I feel like if I were to talk to my parents more than like once a week they would be more involved with me than they ever were since I was in like 4th grade??
I don't particularly care for family. I mean yes I love my sister and my grandparents. Outside of that I don't really have a strong connection with. My mother and I get into arguements constantly. I live with Dad, mostly getting this shitass apartment to get him out of homelessness. Mom constantly reminds me of things I enjoyed when I was 13, which I suppose is somethingt that mothers do. We get into arguements all the time about religion and politics even when I ask her not to talk about those things with me. When I walked back into my mom's house during this last visit, the first thing she confronts me about his how I need to get my life right and start praying because Obama is putting microchips into our hands. She goaded me into an arguement that lasted at least two hours about this shit.
Dad doesn't drive me into arguements. He just doesn't pay me rent on time. He also borrows money constantly and I'm halfway certain he is stealing cash from my wallet when I'm asleep. He drinks a twelve pack of beer everyday and when he pisses away his paycheck he sells his plasma for more booze money. I'm 95% certain that the only reason he tried to maintain contact with me while he was in prison was to mooch off me and get me under his thumb. Can't move away from Asheville, stuck here for another year with all the utilities in my name. I don't plan on living here once the lease is up/also halfassedly trying to find someone to take over the lease.
My grandmother is probably the only thing I've ever experienced that's close to "unconditional love". Truly a person who excudes love and radiates in happiness. Even when she was going through raditation treatments this past month she was loving and optimistic and was always willing to lend an ear when needed. I know it's not going to be long before she passes away and I don't really know what I'll do when that day comes.
For the most part, I hate my parents. I would rather not talk to either of them again, nor do I feel any sort of connection beyond the bloodlines. I feel like I got the extreme of both my parents negative qualities. My mother's self absorbtion and my father's blinding anger. I've tried really hard in the last few years to get past it but I think it's ingrained in me and not a day goes by that I don't curse the day I was born/the people who birthed me.
/wrists
:(
my family is pretty important to me. i'd say i still i have a very good relationship with my mother and my sisters, and thus living with them still has never been a "problem" per se. there are no real arguments, we all get along and have some fun too.
that being said, i still value my privacy a lot and i definitely don't talk to them as much as i used to, but that's something i need. and i had no problems living on my own when i was in school. so i'll have no hard feelings moving away permanently eventually, either. but i'll still always love my family to death, i'm sure.
Quote from: N o t S i d on April 16, 2013, 04:21:53 PM
I don't particularly care for family. I mean yes I love my sister and my grandparents. Outside of that I don't really have a strong connection with. My mother and I get into arguements constantly. I live with Dad, mostly getting this shitass apartment to get him out of homelessness. Mom constantly reminds me of things I enjoyed when I was 13, which I suppose is somethingt that mothers do. We get into arguements all the time about religion and politics even when I ask her not to talk about those things with me. When I walked back into my mom's house during this last visit, the first thing she confronts me about his how I need to get my life right and start praying because Obama is putting microchips into our hands. She goaded me into an arguement that lasted at least two hours about this shit.
Dad doesn't drive me into arguements. He just doesn't pay me rent on time. He also borrows money constantly and I'm halfway certain he is stealing cash from my wallet when I'm asleep. He drinks a twelve pack of beer everyday and when he pisses away his paycheck he sells his plasma for more booze money. I'm 95% certain that the only reason he tried to maintain contact with me while he was in prison was to mooch off me and get me under his thumb. Can't move away from Asheville, stuck here for another year with all the utilities in my name. I don't plan on living here once the lease is up/also halfassedly trying to find someone to take over the lease.
My grandmother is probably the only thing I've ever experienced that's close to "unconditional love". Truly a person who excudes love and radiates in happiness. Even when she was going through raditation treatments this past month she was loving and optimistic and was always willing to lend an ear when needed. I know it's not going to be long before she passes away and I don't really know what I'll do when that day comes.
For the most part, I hate my parents. I would rather not talk to either of them again, nor do I feel any sort of connection beyond the bloodlines. I feel like I got the extreme of both my parents negative qualities. My mother's self absorbtion and my father's blinding anger. I've tried really hard in the last few years to get past it but I think it's ingrained in me and not a day goes by that I don't curse the day I was born/the people who birthed me.
/wrists
Reading this...just made me think that I just had to give more of a reply than my previous half-assed one.
I think family is important to some extent, (More for others than myself, at least.) but then most of the time, I don't care too much for my family. Many factors,
but I'll be on a surface level. Or, I'll try at least- I get too in-depth when I start bitching, haha...I- Decided that my bitching went too far. I think it was up long enough, anyway.
And N o t S i d, I hope you some day have more support with your scenario. Although we have way different experiences, I somehow feel like I can just connect with you a bit. (God, I sound so gay as Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllll.)
I just listened to my mom's flight depart JFK from a live control tower feed. It was very reassuring to hear the actual words "Delta 4 you are cleared for take off" and the pilot chiming in a bit later ".....have a good day". Now I can rest my mind until it's time to listen in in Rome. Approximately 9 hours from now. Family is very important, you can't just shrug off such a loss.
My family is a 8/10 family.
hmmmm... some members of my family i love a lot and i think they are wonderful and i am happy to see them when i do but these are mostly my siblings. my two older sisters are actually kind of fucked up and i feel like they aren't that supportive, but they seem regretful of that now. i have a really strained relationship with my mother because she is an alcoholic and really selfish but she also loves me all her (6) kids so much so i feel bad for her kinda. i loved my dad a whole lot. My grandpa is really nice and some of my family kind of stepped up to help me and my brothers when our dad passed away and I think thats kind and indicative of some love i guess even tho i would not say i am close with my extended family.
my grandma likes me a lot and i like her too but she's racist and actually i think the problem i have with a lot of my family members is that they can just be kind of hateful to a lot of people. they're all just rich white christian people
While everything was sunny and nice when I was a children, I've now realized that pretty much everyone in my family sucks, and for one reason or another I no longer talk to any of them except my mom.