what's new w/ u

[strongbad]

i'm finishing my 2nd quarter of programming classes
still working fulltime at a cafe
taking summer (and fall RIP my education and future) quarter off to ride my bike from seattle -> cabo in august

[Kalahari Inkantation]

uhh well my entire genome and biological sex are certainly new lol

aside from that, not much

how are those programming courses treating you

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

im working on my seventh ten minute play and im playing in a gamelan

getting a severance check at the end of the month that will negate (most) of my debt. i hope it pans out

[??????]

Im gonna go to Peru in August to get back with my ex for twenty days cos im insane

[strongbad]

uhh well my entire genome and biological sex are certainly new lol

aside from that, not much

how are those programming courses treating you

really good. Realizing I could have studied CS in undergrad and loved it lol
Hopefully will get an internship that leads to a full time position sometime next year and not have to finish another bachelor's lol

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

also i got fat lol

[6M69I69B9]

am affording things ive always wanted at the expense of my sanity

also i got fat lol

o no

[Samus Aran]

my ambition, self-esteem, and general happiness have tanked into nothingness once again as of late. nice to be back down here where i belong

other than that nothing's new and that's much of the problem

[Kalahari Inkantation]

my ambition, self-esteem, and general happiness have tanked into nothingness once again as of late. nice to be back down here where i belong

other than that nothing's new and that's much of the problem

what has you feeling stuck

[Samus Aran]

my ambition, self-esteem, and general happiness have tanked into nothingness once again as of late. nice to be back down here where i belong

other than that nothing's new and that's much of the problem

what has you feeling stuck

my job is a big part of it. and my lack of ambition to leave said job despite me hating it lmao

my difficulty with getting back into writing. i decided, """"firmly""""", that this year i would really go for it. finish stories, try really hard to get them published, etc. and what's come of it? nothing.

my relationship with ivy has been a bit rocky lately and that hasn't helped. mostly just she and i are both under a lot of stress right now and that makes things hard

and i'm always so fucking poor. i always have car problems, i always have payments and debts

AND there's this whole being sued thing looming over my head

[Kalahari Inkantation]

You're being sued?

my job is a big part of it. and my lack of ambition to leave said job despite me hating it lmao

my difficulty with getting back into writing. i decided, """"firmly""""", that this year i would really go for it. finish stories, try really hard to get them published, etc. and what's come of it? nothing.

my relationship with ivy has been a bit rocky lately and that hasn't helped. mostly just she and i are both under a lot of stress right now and that makes things hard

and i'm always so fucking poor. i always have car problems, i always have payments and debts

AND there's this whole being sued thing looming over my head

if your mood is persistently low enough to be disabling, you'd possibly benefit from seeking medical attention, although with your financial situation as limiting as it is i'm guessing you're uninsured

Have you ever investigated whether you might qualify for Medicaid?

believe me, i know how utterly impossible it is to do much as roll out of bed onto the ground when depression is at its worst, let alone engage in creative activity or anything productive for that matter, especially something like finding new employment

are you still at petsmart lol

[Samus Aran]

i'm not uninsured. even if my job didn't provide insurance for me (which it does), i'd easily quality for medicaid. i was on blueplus with through mnsure before my work insurance kicked in.

but i have no idea how it covers mental health tbh and ive never really considered going to a therapist all that seriously. it may just be that im dumb but i've always seen it as something that's not quite needed in my case? yeah probably just me being dumb

and no i don't work at petsmart anymore, that was my second job i used to have when my current job (cub foods) wouldn't give me enough hours. but now i work full time in the produce dept making about $14/hr. which honestly is pretty decent for this type of job, and that makes it even harder to quit because i know that i would have to find a job that pays better and everything just seems so out of my reach. my lack of experience and supposedly worthless degree, etc.

and uhhh yeah remember that car accident i was in back in december '16? suddenly about january or so of this year i find out the other party wants to sue. basically they're trying to get more money out of my insurance. and progressive is more or less handling it, but it's still a giant pain in my ass because of having to keep in contact with my assigned lawyer, answer a billion questions, and be prepared to have to cancel some plans or something once i'm eventually expected to give a deposition in person. and even worse, the possibility of an actual trial.

[Kalahari Inkantation]

i've always seen it as something that's not quite needed in my case? yeah probably just me being dumb

...what do you think they're for then lol

also i don't even necessarily mean a therapist, but possibly a psychologist/iatrist, although they are all related and you might end up dealing with more than one class of specialist at a time

it sounds like your mood issues are cyclical and chronic, in which case they'd more likely go for a medicinal approach to treatment rather than (or commonly in addition to) talk therapy, in which case you'd need at least a psychiatrist

and if it turns out they're really "not quite needed" in your case (which i SERIOUSLY doubt), they'd come to that conclusion themselves after an evaluation and turn you away or refer you to someone else

in any case, at least you would have tried

but now i work full time in the produce dept making about $14/hr. which honestly is pretty decent for this type of job, and that makes it even harder to quit because i know that i would have to find a job that pays better and everything just seems so out of my reach. my lack of experience and supposedly worthless degree, etc.

i mean i think at the very least you're well beyond overqualified for retail service, although certainly the lack of a master's and limited experience aren't exactly helpful

still, i'm certain you could find something more befitting of your degree and talents (especially something that would allow for real growth, both personal and professional) if you looked around, although of course i know that's easier said than done

and uhhh yeah remember that car accident i was in back in december '16? suddenly about january or so of this year i find out the other party wants to sue. basically they're trying to get more money out of my insurance. and progressive is more or less handling it, but it's still a giant pain in my ass because of having to keep in contact with my assigned lawyer, answer a billion questions, and be prepared to have to cancel some plans or something once i'm eventually expected to give a deposition in person. and even worse, the possibility of an actual trial.

ugh i figured it might be that incident continuing to haunt you

iirc it was hardly even your fault at all, although i guess technically the other party can sue for any reason at all regardless of who's to blame

still a complete d!ck move, though, and i'm sorry to hear about just how negatively that single event has impacted you life to this day, jesus

[Hiro]

fuck I need a new job