mental bdsm

6M69I69B9 · March 24, 2016, 04:52:01 PM

man life is gay

anyway

recently ive been having a hard time doing things...that i liked to do in the past
it's like there's some sort of force in my head that just wont let me go
i wanna go outside
cant it's shit outside
i wanna go somewhere
no it's a waste of time you get anxiety triggered
i wanna get back into art
no...just stay in one place it's a lot of effort just stay
and no matter how i try its like...im just the audience of someone who's controlling me
or my subconscious died
i have no senses except vision
i see what a mess ive made
a backlog of unkeptness
a timeline of things left on each other around me
i don't like where i am right now
i have no restraints on me
yet i let things go
yet i stay
unnecessarily and necessarily
mostly unnecessarily
but ive got a tool to get me out of it
i...just need to use it...
use it...