anxiety thread to PROMOTE ACTIVITY

[Classic]

my existence

[6M69I69B9]

future

but specifically just wondering if ill ever get out of this sheltered life, getting out of cc in a semester and a half, don't know what i'm going to do afterwards but learn how to drive better and actually get more work experience anywhere.  i don't know if i'll ever stop being lonely for the rest of my life.  been shitting on my grades this semester and struggling to do work.  i've been really down for the last couple of weeks.  nothign interests me, enthusiasm has been gone for many years and i'm just laughing out of fear.  at least my brofessor friends have been trying to help me a bit with coping.  but I know in actuality it's just up to me to find what i've been struggling to find.  i don't want to sound cheesy.  but...i've just felt like i've been missing out on something all my life.  i don't get life.  there has to be more to it...  thinking sucks.  

thinking is shit

i can't stop it.

i gotta do something about.  

suicide can't be an option

i've been literally been living in fantasy for sometime now.  i want it to stop...

I don't know.  

[ncba93ivyase]

future

but specifically just wondering if ill ever get out of this sheltered life, getting out of cc in a semester and a half, don't know what i'm going to do afterwards but learn how to drive better and actually get more work experience anywhere.  i don't know if i'll ever stop being lonely for the rest of my life.  been shitting on my grades this semester and struggling to do work.  i've been really down for the last couple of weeks.  nothign interests me, enthusiasm has been gone for many years and i'm just laughing out of fear.  at least my brofessor friends have been trying to help me a bit with coping.  but I know in actuality it's just up to me to find what i've been struggling to find.  i don't want to sound cheesy.  but...i've just felt like i've been missing out on something all my life.  i don't get life.  there has to be more to it...  thinking sucks.  

thinking is shit

i can't stop it.

i gotta do something about.  

suicide can't be an option

i've been literally been living in fantasy for sometime now.  i want it to stop...

I don't know.  

i've fallen into this in the past few weeks

i used to say i didn't get depression and that it didn't make sense to me. after a 3 year peak in life, i realized that i probably was severely depressed most of my life but i just didn't realize it because i knew no other life. this extreme dissatisfaction with everything and just wanting it all to end is how i used to live every single day, but i can't handle it anymore after seeing just how good things could be.

and loneliness really, really sucks. meeting people is impossible without already knowing people.

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

meeting people is impossible without already knowing people.

Nah, the thing is, this isn't true at all.
It's easier to meet people when you know people. That's what you mean. Impossible; bullshit.

[strongbad]

meeting people is impossible without doing things
knowing people is usually something that helps people do things
but it's easy to do things by yourself
i've met a lot of people through doing things without the intention of meeting people, like rock climbing, exploring beaches solo (usually going to popular smoke spots and smoking with strangers though lol), and going to smash tournaments

idk this was a realization that made me start doing way more things, too

[ncba93ivyase]

Nah, the thing is, this isn't true at all.
It's easier to meet people when you know people. That's what you mean. Impossible; bullshit.

a major problem is approaching people

if you approach someone alone, it's uncomfortable for everybody unless you're a specific type of person. i have some strange vibe that pushes people away when i try to approach them. the only way to get to know somebody (for someone like me) is basically to be forced to have them interact with you

and i've heard loads of bullshit all my life about how talking to people is easy, you just need to try, they don't really care, you get better with practice, etc. it really depends on the individual. we've all been approached by a person asking an innocent question but we assumed their intentions were more sinister, and we've all be approached by someone we thought would be decent and was completely batshit. our expectations set the grounds for the interaction

[strongbad]

it really does get easier with practice

[ncba93ivyase]

depends on the type of person you are

years of social rejection doesn't really make things better

[strongbad]

i can relate
i was socially isolated up until 12th grade (the only real friends i had were on the internet, minus maybe one or two other people), and then i started socializing more and it was horrifying and ridden with anxiety and jealousy of other people who knew what they were doing
and then i somehow became super social in college (i credit starting to smoke weed, because it was such an easy excuse to socialize with so many people)

[??????]

lol i was socially isolated until i ran away to the city
my anxiety was forced to be suppressed in sake of surviving
then after a year it was still mildly there
i thought socialization would have killed it completely
but i've gotten medicated for it, no more anxiety

then my socialization sky rocketed; parties, wild nights
coming home at 8, 9, 10 AM
days without sleeping

Then about in December I've gotten so tired of it all because I've still felt so empty and dull inside
About some weeks ago I decided to stop socialization and instead devote time onto things I really liked, which were all very solitary in nature

Then I started to get a bit better
but unfortunately since I'm extreme, I also really wanted to do things opposite of solidarity
like, really heavy socialization
to talk to several groups of people instead of a couple at once
or share my thoughts out to more people rather than internalizing it
but it's so scary to do that
it's way out of my comfort zone
and i'm so afraid to approach the rich and debutantes (because they're prettier than me and I have problems with my self esteem)

but i have to do it i guess :'(
these challenges are the only things that make me feel alive lol
habituation and repetitive rituals served nothing but stagnation and starvation for me~    

i don't have any very close friends because i'm really detached and esoteric even when other people think i have a wonderful social life :'(

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

a major problem is approaching people

if you approach someone alone, it's uncomfortable for everybody unless you're a specific type of person. i have some strange vibe that pushes people away when i try to approach them. the only way to get to know somebody (for someone like me) is basically to be forced to have them interact with you

and i've heard loads of bullshit all my life about how talking to people is easy, you just need to try, they don't really care, you get better with practice, etc. it really depends on the individual. we've all been approached by a person asking an innocent question but we assumed their intentions were more sinister, and we've all be approached by someone we thought would be decent and was completely batshit. our expectations set the grounds for the interaction

Dunno.
The times where I'm the most comfortable and open to meeting people and the times that I've actually met some great ones is at shows or events or little niche things. Everyone's there for the same reason, so there's an instant opening. College is super great for this because there's associations and groups for fucking everything out there and by showing up, you automatically have an in with everyone in the room because that's why they're there too.

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

Dunno.
The times where I'm the most comfortable and open to meeting people and the times that I've actually met some great ones is at shows or events or little niche things. Everyone's there for the same reason, so there's an instant opening. College is super great for this because there's associations and groups for fucking everything out there and by showing up, you automatically have an in with everyone in the room because that's why they're there too.

Which, I guess is confirming what you said.
Think of it as voluntary forced interaction.

[Daddy]

Got extremely drunk and kept texting the girl i am semidating and she got upset.

She kept saying “ä¸�è¦�对æˆ'å�'é...'ç-¯â€� which uh essentially means dont give me this drunken behavior. hard for an exact translation.

i didn't. she stopped talking to me. we went out to dinner tonight but she wouldn't talk to me.  her friend said she wants to be with me so i gotta fix this.


Tomorrow I plan on doing so.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

I've become less anxious around people mostly because i stopped caring what this nameless person thinks of me

this is dangerous because i berated a woman in portland for not finishing her sandwich (it looked like a nice sandwich from my drunk perspective and good sandwiches should never be wasted but i did make an ass out of my self [she was also new york elitist bitch but that's a whole 'nother thread all together])

Going and doing things in large crowds, where everyone is there for a common reason, is a really good way to approach people because you can just talk about the show or the exhibit or whatever.

[strongbad]

Got extremely drunk and kept texting the girl i am semidating and she got upset.

She kept saying “不要对我发酒疯” which uh essentially means dont give me this drunken behavior. hard for an exact translation.

i didn't. she stopped talking to me. we went out to dinner tonight but she wouldn't talk to me.  her friend said she wants to be with me so i gotta fix this.


Tomorrow I plan on doing so.

dinner in complete silence? nice