Popsi's hometown heroes, part 4: Live Free or Hometown Hero

[Mando Pandango]

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/421014/november-08-2012/difference-makers---stephen-dick-jr-

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/06/nyregion/in-new-yorks-top-court-a-debate-over-lap-dances-and-admission-taxes.html

New York State’s highest court, the Court of Appeals, is used to considering weighty issues, like same-sex marriage and the death penalty. But on Wednesday, its august chambers entertained a debate of perhaps less significance but far more prurience: whether lap dancing constitutes a form of art.

Standing in the court’s wood-paneled chambers, a lawyer representing Nite Moves, a strip club in Latham, N.Y., asked the judges to rule that the club â€" which bills itself as the only such club in the Albany area where customers can see “fully nude private dancersâ€� â€" was exempt from paying $124,921.94 in sales taxes on its door admission fees because it offered artistic, choreographed performances. (The same provision exempts Broadway shows and ballet performances from taxes on admission fees.)

The case made for an unusual spectacle, with lawyers and judges trying to address a decidedly unpretentious subject with legal terms befitting the state’s highest court.

Words like “nude� and “pole� were exchanged. Euphemisms like “things that happen in private rooms� were used. An expert in the cultural anthropology of exotic dance was cited. “It’s been a very entertaining afternoon,� one judge could be heard remarking to another after oral arguments ended.

By the time the club’s lawyer, W. Andrew McCullough, stood up for his second round of arguments, however, at least one judge seemed to have had enough.

“Can we get past the idea that somehow this is the Bolshoi?� he said, referring to the internationally acclaimed Russian ballet company. “It seems to me that what you’re doing is you’re having girls coming to this establishment and pay you, and they make a lot of money, and so do you, and the twain never meet.�

“Well, no, get away from the idea that it’s the Bolshoi,� Mr. McCullough replied blithely. “The point is that the State of New York doesn’t get to be a dance critic.�

But a lawyer for the State Department of Taxation and Finance, Robert M. Goldfarb, said that even if the pole routines and lap dancing on the open floor could be considered choreographed performances, Nite Moves had failed to prove that dances in private rooms, which patrons pay for separately, were choreographed.

“There are some commonly used moves in stripping â€" various pole tricks, some of which are very difficult to perform, but that doesn’t make it choreographed,â€� Mr. Goldfarb told the judges, who interrupted him several times to ask whether he was drawing a distinction between low-class performances and high-class dances.

Besides, he argued, the state could tax Nite Moves’ admission charges â€" regardless of the artistic merit of the dancing inside â€" because the bar qualifies as a cabaretlike establishment that must pay taxes on entrance fees if its beverage sales make up a significant part of its business. He said the bar required each patron to buy at least two nonalcoholic juice drinks that cost up to $5 each, and its refreshment sales were even greater than its door revenue.

“Although,� he added, “I submit that if the women kept their clothes on, no one would come to these bars.�

Nite Moves has already paid taxes on its beverage sales. When the tax department audited the club in 2005, the club challenged the sales tax under an exemption that was first upheld by an administrative law judge. But the State Tax Appeals Tribunal ruled that the club had failed to provide enough evidence that it fell under the exemption, and an Appellate Division court agreed, writing that the dancers did not undergo any formal training and that the club had not shown that its private dances were choreographed.

But Mr. McCullough maintained that the club’s dancers were trained artists.

“I would point out that pole dancing is under serious consideration as an Olympic sport,� he told the judges near the end of his arguments.

“Are you comparing it to dressage now?� one judge asked, chuckling slightly.

Mr. McCullough did not hesitate. “They would be under consideration to make the Olympic team,� he said. “They’re that good.�

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

is "wood-paneled" a double entendre

[Mando Pandango]

everything is a double-entendre

[Mando Pandango]

oh yeah also, if you watch the Colbert video

I used to work at the Times Union for a brief period.