5/18/12

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

I was walking out to my car after work, talking to someone on the way out and I went to grab my car keys from my right pocket. I struggled to get them out (denim's a bitch).
When I had finally pulled them free, I looked down at my right hand and it was covered in blood and bits of gore.
The same was true with my car keys. Two of the keys were completely saturated with sticky blood.
It was awful, this realization, lit and framed by a drippy and sickly sodium-arc glow from the poles overhead.
I said something along the lines of "what the fuck is this" and my co-worker looked over and she said something along the lines of "what the fuck is that" and I said "Woah, I don't know. It looks like a lot of blood"

I looked down towards my leg where I pulled my keys from the pocket and noticed a rosy little bloom starting there, a saturation of crimson spreading from a central point.

Why am I bleeding? Why don't I feel anything? Maybe it's a really serious injury, maybe I'm in shock and I can't feel it.
And I just kind of stood there for a minute looking at my hand, at the drying red and the little bits intermingled; probably torn bits of flesh.

I snapped to and reached my hand back in the pocket to get a feel of the wound, but I pulled out an exploded red pen instead.

Shit.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

you are going to be a cool grandpa

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

I probably won't live past 33.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

I probably won't live past 33.

still time enough to be a grandpa

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

If I adopt a pregnant woman maybe.

[The Hand That Fisted Everyone]

a slutty pregnant woman (all pregnant women are sluts)

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

I never really honestly considered the idea of growing old.
Now I'm going to put my chin on my fist and look up and hallmark music is going to play and everything's going to have this piss gold hue around it.

[silvertone]

i once bumped my hand on a JAGGED METAL PIECE, felt nothing and reacted the same way as you did. minus the naughty language and the wound was Real.  i could see white shit in my hand and lots of strange sh*t lol  but but wasnt serious. it was like whoa i had 2 get lots of stitches on my hand because of this bullshit. my handshake ability dropped by like ten points and that is one of my highest leveld abilities.

[Hiro]

one time when i was like 8 i was eating dinner and i looked at my hand it was bleedin a lot and i didn't feel anything and i screamed and then wiped it off and it was fine what the lol

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

i once bumped my hand on a JAGGED METAL PIECE, felt nothing and reacted the same way as you did. minus the naughty language and the wound was Real.  i could see white shit in my hand and lots of strange sh*t lol  but but wasnt serious. it was like whoa i had 2 get lots of stitches on my hand because of this bullshit. my handshake ability dropped by like ten points and that is one of my highest leveld abilities.

Good luck getting a corporate position with a busted handshake.

[silvertone]

Good luck getting a corporate position with a busted handshake.

The Maximum amount of pride was totally invested in that handshake.  ...it is just a laughable attempt at conquering the lofty excellence of a facade of beauty. it might be wise to just prune these shitty branches off my body, it is just a stranger to me.

[6M69I69B9]

one time when i was like 4, i was at foster beach and i had a really bad headache from playing in the water.  so i walked to where my family's set-up was, and when i got there i just walked back and forth b/c i dunno.  and so i stop for some reason and i just freeze.  and then all of a sudden i felt something burning and oh my god i was standing in front of a mini bbq grill.  the back of my leg was touching it the whole time and i cried.  i think my mom or dad drove me home.  sometime after that i remember elmo's world was playing in the background and then i chipped off the whole piece where my leg was burned and i was like lol eww but the thing is it looked like a computer chip but i just threw it in the garbage

[Travis]

one time when i was like 4, i was at foster beach and i had a really bad headache from playing in the water.  so i walked to where my family's set-up was, and when i got there i just walked back and forth b/c i dunno.  and so i stop for some reason and i just freeze.  and then all of a sudden i felt something burning and oh my god i was standing in front of a mini bbq grill.  the back of my leg was touching it the whole time and i cried.  i think my mom or dad drove me home.  sometime after that i remember elmo's world was playing in the background and then i chipped off the whole piece where my leg was burned and i was like lol eww but the thing is it looked like a computer chip but i just threw it in the garbage

your life is really Interesting