And then I says to mabel, I says.......

[Boogus Epirus Aurelius]

So I decided I needed  wanted a new midi keyboard and I walked in the direction of a local music store after my last morning class.
I was feeling hunky and even a little bit dory because the weather was beautiful and everything was sun-dipped and I was a little put off by the people in my class who had the audacity to complain about the cold(er) air.

Buy a hat.

You can imagine my good natured strut down the sidewalk amongst the other zombified animated corpses dotting the sidewalks. Sure it’s the monday after spring break and sure I’m still hung over but that just made me more resolute, kicking off my foggy eyes as a defiant gesture towards the other sleep crusted staggerers.

I see someone walking ahead of me, towards me. I dutifully switch lanes and keep my feet aligned on the right side of the walk, but I notice she’s not doing the same. Her face is buried in a very real way, her eyes fixed on the phone in her hand.

Now these sidewalks are narrow to begin with, and the snow on each side makes a trip to the shoulder a wet and wild excursion, so I’m beginning to wonder if she’ll look up and abandon her drunken stagger.

She’s weaving, bobbing and jiving. She’s  on full autopilot. Her navigational systems are shut down and abandoned. Every fiber of her being is fixated on that piece of fucking plastic.

I know if I don’t do something, there’s going to be a collision. And in that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to even think about taking the plunge to the shoulder to avoid it. It wasn’t just the wet feet I was worried about, but the fucking principle. Why should I have to inconvenience myself due to some other’s extreme lack of courtesy and attention?

Closer and closer.

I cleared my throat loudly, but it failed. I shuffled my shoes loudly, but it didn’t work.

And then, as our shoulders were nanoseconds from connection, she snapped out, regaining manual control, and startled herself into a clumsy maneuver which planted both of her feet into the muddy snow on her side of the shoulder.

Then I went and bought my keyboard.

[applesauce]

Good thing she had her ultrasonics calibrated just right, or you would have been fucked. 

[don't let's]

Should have had a battle

[burzumfan420]

was she hot?? pics???