it's my birthday so read the fucking thread and link goes to the real world

[Andrew1911]

Chapter 1: The Space Kid

Link wiped the sweat off of his womanly brow. He was outnumbered. One to one. He swung his sword wildly at the enemy. The enemy easily dodged it. Link sighed, "God dammit, this is ridiculous. Stay still and let me kill you." The enemy quickly said, "What? Why would I let you kill me?" Link said, "Well, it would be easier for me." The enemy replied, "Well, I don't feel like dying." Link asked, "Are you depressed?" The enemy said, "Yeah, kind of. Going through a rough divorce. My whore bitch of a wife wants sole custody. My kids don't even like me. Sometimes, I wish I could just die." Link said, "Well, I can fulfill that request." The enemy happily complied as Link chopped the enemy's head off.

Link smiled and said, "All in a day's work." He walked off in the distance when the sky went pitch black. The ground began to shake. Link screamed, "What the hell is going on? This is more insane than the time I fought the moon kid!" Finally, a light emerged from the clouds and a space kid came forth from the clouds. The space kid wore space clothing and spoke with a space accent. Link asked, "What are you? Some kind of space kid?" The space kid angrily stated, "Well, yeah. I came from space. Do you see my clothing? Can't you hear my obvious space accent?" Link paused for a moment and replied, "Yeah, now that I think about it, I can hear the space accent. Why are you here, space kid?"

The space kid replied without a sense of emotion, "I am here to take you into the real world, Link. My species has been watching since you were born. We are bored with your antics of doing the same **** over and over again. Oh, kill, Ganondorf. Oh, real original. Haven't done that twenty times already. See, Link, we've been watching you. You have fans. Unfortunately, your die hard fans fear you've jumped the shark two seasons ago. This is why we're putting you into the real world. To boost the ratings of your show. Now, make us proud. Step into the light." Link was shocked. He had a feeling he was on an intergalatic television show before so that didn't shock him but the fact that they feel he jumped the shark shocked him. He said, "I'm not stepping into there." The space kid's eyes began to glow red. The evil shade of red. The space kid said, "That's not a choice, Link."

Link looked down and saw his feet were not touching the ground anymore. He was slowly moving towards the light. He screamed, "RAPE! I'M BEING RAPED!" The space kid laughed, "Yes, Link. Scream rape. No one can hear you in the real world. Well, except for the people in the real world. Other than that, no one on can hear you." Link was surrounded by complete darkness. He screamed at the top of his lungs, "NOOOOOOOOO!" He would never escape.

[Houdini]

I can't wait to see where this one goes. Perhaps Link will get a job at the meat packing plant?

[Andrew1911]

Chapter 2: The Real World

Link escaped as he exited the portal. He was in the middle of a dank, disgusting alleyway. He looked around this strange world. No longer were things pixelated and stylized. They were real. Link looked at his hands. He had five fingers. He screamed, "I'M A FREAAAAAAAAAAK!" His girlish scream awoke a homeless heroin addict. The hobo screamed, "Unless you're giving away free drugs, get the hell out of my alleyway." Link looked at the homeless man. He had facial features and a shirt that actually moved. Link was shocked to see this and ran as fast as he could out of the alleyway.

Link exited into a busy street where a car was hurtling towards him. Link screamed, "Metal monster!" (Editor's Note: What is this? Crocodile Dundee? Change it or you're fired.) Link threw his sword threw the windshield, narrowly missing the driver's head. Since the driver was asleep, he did not notice Link and ran him over with the sword still inside the car. Link fell on the ground hard. Link said, "Damn you, metal monster... Damn you..." He blacked out. He had died.

[Houdini]

End of fanfic?

[Andrew1911]

Chapter Three

Link did not die as he awoke in a hospital room. Link was groggy and barely managed to say, "Where... Am... I?" A doctor next to him said, "Sir... I'm not sure how to tell you this... But... You have no organs." Link interrupted the doctor, "What are organs?" The doctor said, "Well, let me start out here alright. Don't interrupt me. That's just rude. Now, as I was saying, you were hit by a car by a driver who was somehow asleep. They found a sword in his car. Anyhoo, we had to do an emergency organscopy. When we tried to take your clothes off, they... Stuck to your body. It was like... A second skin. For you, it is your skin. We had to cut your clothes off using futuristic equipment such as this chainsaw. As we opened your body, we found a note where your organs should be. It said to be rendered later. So... How you are alive right now... It's just beyond me. It's not even science. We sewed your shir- Uh, skin back up. You're clear to go, I guess. Oh, no interruptions?"

Link said, "Well... What does this no organ thing mean?" The doctor shrugged. Link shrugged in return. The doctor returned Link's shrug. Link was confused and left the hospital. He had to find shelter in this strange world. Link walked down the street in his shining green tunic with his trademarked by the company of Nintendo green hattm.

Link was alone in this strange world. Could he live long enough to live?

[Andrew1911]

End of fanfic?

No, just making fun of cliffhanger endings.

[Andrew1911]

also if you dont comment god hates you

god is me by the way

[YPrrrr]

This is based off the Truman Show, correct?

[Andrew1911]

This is based off the Truman Show, correct?

None of this based on anything. I'm just throwing shit and see what sticks.

[Nyerp]

i lol'd

[Pyrate]

Happy Birthday. meaty cocks

This story is awesome.

[Selkie]

Link screamed, "Metal monster!" (Editor's Note: What is this? Crocodile Dundee? Change it or you're fired.)

pump your brakes kid, that man is a national treasure



But really, good story. Beats the other shit you have shat out in the past. I actually laughed this time. lol @ the "space kid" part in the first chapter

[Knig]

Haha, great story. Favorite parts were when he realized he had five fingers, and the space kid's accent.

Oh yeah, happy birthday. 

[The Oggmonster]

Is it really your birthday. And good story so far.

[Wrench]

Interesting, enjoyable story. I'm liking it so far. Continue please.