Boyah Confession Booth (Retired)

[Boyager]

i got excited when i saw your post but then saw who posted, and realized it wasn't her and Felt really meant Felt this time. 

Oh.

There's a whole subtext of this conversation that I don't understand, then. Gotcha.

[Boyager]

When I talk about it sometimes I feel better but mostly I just feel like crying
I can't remember the last time something upset me this much, and it's never been in this way.

[Boyager]

When I talk about it sometimes I feel better but mostly I just feel like crying
I can't remember the last time something upset me this much, and it's never been in this way.

[Boyager]

It's my own fault so it's alright

[Boyager]

It's my own fault so it's alright

If you're talking about what I think you are, then it's not your fault. 

[Boyager]

If you're talking about what I think you are, then it's not your fault. 

I'm predictable, I am probably talking about exactly what you think I am.
In a lot of ways it is though, I didn't listen to what she said originally which was basically a warning. I am really unsure about what to do though because everything that has been said seems very contradictory.

[Boyager]

I'm predictable, I am probably talking about exactly what you think I am.
In a lot of ways it is though, I didn't listen to what she said originally which was basically a warning. I am really unsure about what to do though because everything that has been said seems very contradictory.

What I know now is that people always don't say what they mean or really want and no matter what it will result in one of you getting hurt.
It's not your fault.

[Boyager]

What I know now is that people always don't say what they mean or really want and no matter what it will result in one of you getting hurt.
It's not your fault.

I suppose you're right, and it is true but the situation feels different (which sounds like a typical thing to say when you're in the middle of something; "no, this time it's really different") I know people do and it's horrible but it's so unexpected, this is somebody I have known since the 8th grade (which is three years now) and somebody who has been very close to me since that time
I don't know I guess I am just very confused, maybe soon I will just be bitter about it and not sad. Thank you

[Boyager]

I suppose you're right, and it is true but the situation feels different (which sounds like a typical thing to say when you're in the middle of something; "no, this time it's really different") I know people do and it's horrible but it's so unexpected, this is somebody I have known since the 8th grade (which is three years now) and somebody who has been very close to me since that time
I don't know I guess I am just very confused, maybe soon I will just be bitter about it and not sad. Thank you

I was/am in a similar situation, though it might be an inverse.
I thought she didn't care anymore--she told me she didn't. She told me she disliked me and didn't even consider me a friend. But she did care and it ended up hurting her.

3 Years is longer than I've known her, so it probably does hurt a lot more. 

[Boyager]

I was/am in a similar situation, though it might be an inverse.
I thought she didn't care anymore--she told me she didn't. She told me she disliked me and didn't even consider me a friend. But she did care and it ended up hurting her.

3 Years is longer than I've known her, so it probably does hurt a lot more. 

Your situation is a confusing one, very unlike mine (not in that mine isn't confusing, I really find it to be but they are still quite different)
She hasn't told me that she dislikes me, she's actually told me the opposite and has said a lot of really beautiful things to/about me but she won't be with me (or can't?) she feels betrothed and she said these things... They were terribly sad, all of them, but I feel like anything I said back wasn't heard so now we are not speaking.

I am so upset because I am lost, I do not understand this.

Time is sort of irrelevant win it comes to matters of your heart. When you're passionate about somebody you are passionate about them.

[Boyager]

Were they mean things, or things that just crushed you? 

[Boyager]

Were they mean things, or things that just crushed you? 

Things that crushed me, they weren't mean. They were really nice actually though I cannot remember the conversation as well as I would like to (I had been drinking, which is a lame excuse but it got to the point where I had to refocus my eyes so that I could read the messages)

things like:
I feel betrothed
something about how the affections had always been there, just neither of us had acted and now this is the worst possible time because she's very busy and just got a job and that I'll have to wait but by that time it isn't going to matter anymore because we won't want it
and that we can be together when we are together, which I said no to and just the idea that she would even suggest that really hurt my feelings.

maybe I am being too sensitive she's very peculiar and it is hard to make sense of her, or it's just that the way I make sense of her makes me sad because she doesn't really care about anything the way one normally might.

[Boyager]

beâ‹…trothed  [bi-trohthd, -trawtht] Show IPA Pronunciation 
ââ,¬â€œadjective 1.   engaged to be married: She is betrothed to that young lieutenant.

[Boyager]

beâ‹…trothed  [bi-trohthd, -trawtht] Show IPA Pronunciation 
ââ,¬â€œadjective 1.   engaged to be married: She is betrothed to that young lieutenant.

That is why it is so unfortunate. It really makes her a lot less accessible. She loves a boy from San Francisco with eyes like the sun!

[Boyager]

Things that crushed me, they weren't mean. They were really nice actually though I cannot remember the conversation as well as I would like to (I had been drinking, which is a lame excuse but it got to the point where I had to refocus my eyes so that I could read the messages)

things like:
I feel betrothed
something about how the affections had always been there, just neither of us had acted and now this is the worst possible time because she's very busy and just got a job and that I'll have to wait but by that time it isn't going to matter anymore because we won't want it
and that we can be together when we are together, which I said no to and just the idea that she would even suggest that really hurt my feelings.

maybe I am being too sensitive she's very peculiar and it is hard to make sense of her, or it's just that the way I make sense of her makes me sad because she doesn't really care about anything the way one normally might.

It doesn't seem like you're being too sensitive.
It's a bit selfish and inconsiderate of her that she'd think you'd want to "be together only when you're together".