Fuck the Goosebumps show. This blog about Goosebumps fucks that show up the ass!

[Andrew1911]

http://twistending.blogspot.com/

"Zackie's next line is "THE WIND BEGAN TO HOWL." And guess what happens in real life? That's right, Hurricane Katrina. Thanks a lot Zackie, hope your Blob story was worth it."

"Once home, Kat's mom informs her and her brother that Killer has ran away. Not to worry though, as Kat's mom has called the police and they are out searching for the dog. I don't mean to be callous, but instead of searching for a missing dog, shouldn't the police be doing something more important, like anything else? Daniel and Carlo go out to look for the dog themselves, as even they at such an early age know 9-1-1 is a joke."

"Kat sulks upstairs and makes plans for taking care of the Grool that are so intricate that she gets out a notebook and puts pen to paper. The plan? To bury the Grool in the backyard when the rain lets out."



"Miss Vanderhoff dismisses Kat's sponge as just another sponge and absently tosses it away, clearly ignoring the intent of the historic No Sponge Left Behind Act."

"With his plan set, he goes home to try on the mask, in hopes of scaring his friend Chuck. However, as soon as he slides the old man mask over his head, it melds to his skin and suddenly he feels tired, like an old man, and starts cackling, like an old man, and has very specific ideas on race relations, like an old man. After scaring his dog, Steve hears his mom approaching his room. She can't see him like this, it will be like that scene in Big, only less frightening."

"On the field trip, which consists of two teachers leading 40 kids into the woods to identify plants and animals, Eddie is embarrassed or one-upped by Courtney several times. First she spots a deer, which is I guess something to envy. Then she teases Eddie for being scared of a garden snake. Then, in what has to be the most inexplicable scene in any Goosebumps book, the class crowds around Courtney as she lets two bumblebees walk across her palm. She then takes the bees and throws them at Eddie. She throws the bees.
Read that again, she throws the bees at him."

"But first the reader is introduced to a handful of neighborhood kids. There's Lauren Sax, who lives next door. She has no easily discernible affectatious personality trait, but I like to pretend she has a wonderful singing voice. "

"More like A Shocker on Shit Street."

[36chambers]

movies

[Andrew1911]

Great Prose Alert:
"Then everyone laughed.
'You won't be laughing if a bear claws your head off,' Uncle Al said sternly."

[Houdini]

Whoa, a blog actually worth reading? I thought that was impossible.

[Andrew1911]

Whoa, a blog actually worth reading? I thought that was impossible.

So did I when I first saw the link. I thought, "Oh, God. Another fucker who thinks he is God's gift to comedic writing."

Amazingly, this guy actually IS God's gift to comedic writing!

[Houdini]

So did I when I first saw the link. I thought, "Oh, God. Another fucker who thinks he is God's gift to comedic writing."

Amazingly, this guy actually IS God's gift to comedic writing!

That is, he would be if God existed.

[Andrew1911]

That is, he would be if God existed.

*insert drumshot here*

[Houdini]

*insert drumshot here*

DEE DEE DEE

[Andrew1911]

"Alex and Adam see the blob monster chasing Zackie. Adam thinks the creature is some sort of balloon. No, really, he thinks the giant, five story blob monster is some sort of balloon and he then walks right into the blob monster's open mouth. Did Zackie type "EVERYONE I WILL EVER COME IN CONTACT WITH IS STRAIGHT-UP RETARDED"?"

[Andrew1911]

"After like three pages, we get it, but don't worry, Wilson continues to win at things that aren't even competitions, like later in the book when Jack is eating a hotdog and Wilson comes up to him and goes "You call that a hot dog?" and then presents his footlong hot dog. I didn't make that up, that is a literal scene from the book."

[Geno]

lol me and wolf were just watching the show on Youtube 

[Samus Aran]

FUCK YES

This is my new favorite blog.