So, I walked into a movie theater today...

[Andrew1911]

For today, I had planned to see the motion picture called Superbad on my day off from work and school. I had called in advance and came to watch this motion picture. When I sat down, I eased into my seat, preparing to relax when all of a sudden, I heard loud voices. I had thought the motion picture had started but... Oh, no... It was the one thing I had feared... Old people. The theatre was empty since this was a Tuesday afternoon. But, for some strange reason, these old people were drawn to the seats right behind me. I groaned as I heard them discussing how their friends had seen this movie one time and said it was horrible. I knew I was in for a rough time...

The film had started and one of them said, "Why does this have black music? Aren't these supposed to be about white children?" I was ready to beat myself in with a dildo when they had spoken again. One said, "Oh, my... Did he say the f word, Jerry?" Finally, something inside me had snapped. I picked my drink up and screamed, "YOU OLD MOTHERFUCKERS! SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FUCKING ANCEDOTES! WE SHOULD HAVE A WORLD LIKE SOYLENT GREEN AND KILL PEOPLE OFF WHEN THEY'RE 30! YOU OLD FUCKING RAISIN FUCKS!" I threw my drink on them and I picked up my Goobers and threw them upon the old people.

After several seconds, one old man said, "Get him!" I knew I was in for trouble when they had slowly gotten up and walked down the aisles to try to attack me. I was frozen in fear when they trapped  me from above and from the sides. But... They had not prepared for my plan... I jumped down. The old men were shocked. They said, "We're going to need backup... Call the retirement home. Tell them it's Code Negro." I gulped as I ran out of the theater. When I had escaped, I saw what I had feared. Every single old person in Boca Raton had cornered the theatre. I had to fight my way out.

One old person said, "This is too easy..." I loled as I said, "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum... And I'm all out of gium." They charged. I awaited their attack. Every single old person in Boca Raton was about to descend upon me when-

[Wrench]

Why must you always make the greatest threads?

[Snorkel]

Well. Superbad is is a good movie.

[mariofreak]

there is a hole right here for people who aren't funny

mind joining me

[Andrew1911]

there is a hole right here for people who aren't funny

mind joining me

You do realize you basically stated you don't have any humor whatsover, right? So, that would make this "witty" comeback you have made quite unfunny.

lol i win

[C.Mongler]

Fith movie idea, thank you anjew 

[Andrew1911]

FIXED BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED WRITTEN BLARG

I grabbed one of their canes and used it to propel myself onto the rooftop of the movie theater. I found a helicoptor on top of the rooftop. I laughed, "Fools! I shall escape and there's nothing you can do about!" Finally, the ringleader had stepped forward. I was stunned to see the one old person I feared to see... Charlton Heston. I said, "Aren't you dead?" Heston said, "The Heston can never be killed. Minions, fire!" I ran away from the ledge as they had fired their letters to the editors at me. I ran inside the helicoptor and turned it on using the key I had found earlier in the story. [Editor's Note: God dammit, Andrew, next time, make a logical story.]

I flew away from the movie theater as they continued to fire upon me. I flew as fast I could but they had entered their shiner carts and chased after me. Heston screamed, "Tell every single old person in the world to attack Andrew1911!" I had to get off this Earth and there was only one place I could go to get out... NASA. [Editor's Note: Honestly... I'm going to fire you.] I finally made it to Cape Canaveral. I was a few minutes ahead of them. I made the calculations to send me to the space station [Editor's Note: Well, at least, it's not fucking Mars...].

I heard various slow screaming outside. I knew I had little time to react. The rocket was powered up. I ran outside and got inside the rocket. I had twenty seconds. I sighed. I had finally made it... When all of a sudden, I felt a knife in my back. I heard, "I can smell your cunt." Charlton Heston had smuggled aboard the rocket. I gulped. He said, "Now, get up nice and slow and don't hit the launch button..." I said, "Lunch? Where? Is it here? Is it this button?" I pressed the launch button, confusing it for lunch. Heston said, "Shit!" As the rocket propelled itself into space, Heston flew all the way down and landed outside into space where the propellers burnt him badly but he was still alive. His head exploded into millions of pieces. That gave me epic lulz. [Editor's Note: What the hell did I say about internet lingo?]

I had reached the space station and said, "in your face, Heston!" But, I heard a strange noise from a console. I walked up to it when I heard a pre-recorded voice of Heston say, "All old people on Old People Station 1... Look out, Andrew1911 is headed your way. You better prepare yourself. This is madness..." I gulped and picked up a broom. I said, "Madness? MADNESS? THIS. IS-"

To be continued.

[Andrew1911]

Fith movie idea, thank you anjew 

go do it now

[Andrew1911]

bump

[Tomboh]

Well. Superbad is is a good movie.

IS IS

[Selkie]

lol, funny. I wanna see that movie

Andrew, I have a plot for a script in the Boyah movie.

But Like I said, I suck at making plots, so just be warned.

If anyone wants to hear it, and tell me if it sucks or not before I waste my time writing it.

[Selkie]

Double you tee ef

wut?

The story was funny